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In Dating, what is a Gold Digger?

By Lauren Romano
Updated May 23, 2024
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The term gold digger makes many in the dating world cringe. The mere thought of going on date with a person that is a gold digger can make even the most attention-seeking men and women running in the other direction. In order to avoid dating one, you must first understand what exactly the term means.

A gold digger is someone who dates another person for financial and material gain. While the term is usually associated with women, it is possible for men to be gold diggers as well. It is not a gender-specific term as it is possible for both men and women to take advantage of someone else’s generosity. Many of these people claim to be in love, or in like, with others when in reality they consider the relationship almost like a business transaction.

There are signs to be aware of so that a gold digger does not dupe you. If the person often asks you to buy him or her things, expects you to pay whenever you go out together or asks you for money, then chances are you have one in your midst. Some people will also go as far as checking your wallet, ATM receipts and bank statements in an effort to find out how much money you have. It is better to open your eyes a bit wider to how she or he acts and consider reevaluating the relationship.

When the gold digger does not get what he or she wants, bad behavior usually follows. For example, the person may have a severe outburst, withhold intimacy or threaten to end the relationship if you do not change your ways and start spending more money on him or her. These instances are usually not a one-time deal and will most likely happen almost every time the person does not get what she thinks that she is fully deserving of.

While most people dread the thought of getting involved with a gold digger, there are those that embrace it. There are several websites devoted to dating those that have a large amount of money. While not all of the people on these sites are gold diggers, they can be targets for those that are.

In order to avoid getting caught up with a gold digger, it is important that you pay attention to how the person acts and trust your gut about what his or her intentions are. Even if you are desperate to find love, you should be patient for the type of person who truly wants to be with you instead of someone who is going to use you.

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Discussion Comments

By lluviaporos — On Apr 16, 2014

@browncoat - I don't know if I would call that gold digging, so much as just freeloading. I think in order for it to qualify as gold digging you have to have gold to dig for.

Gold diggers tend to be somewhat wealthy themselves, actually, because they need to be able to put on a good show to nab themselves a rich partner.

By browncoat — On Apr 15, 2014

@croydon - Even people without much wealth can be subject to a kind of gold digging. When I was a student I had a so-called boyfriend who was living on his friend's couch and he would come over and expect me or my parents to pay for everything. Not quite the same as someone demanding expensive jewelry but it was still quite a bad situation for me. I was too young to know better though.

By croydon — On Apr 15, 2014

I'm kind of indifferent to the term, to be honest. I guess I'm not exactly wealthy enough to ever have to worry about attracting a gold digger in the first place. But it seems to be fairly common that some people expect to be paid for and provided for in exchange for affection and if someone is willing and able to provide that, I don't see the problem.

It would be a problem if the "gold digger" was using underhanded tactics, or being dishonest, but if everything is above board then I think people should be allowed to do what they want.

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