What is an Alpha Male?
An alpha male is the dominant male in a community or group. Zoologists and related scientists typically use the term to describe top-ranking male animals, but people also apply it to human beings, typically referring to adult men rather than boys. In either case, an animal or person with this label usually is an excellent leader who is well-respected or feared, and who receives social privileges, such as better access to food or more attention from potential mates.
In general, an alpha male is physically strong or well built, and he has some traits that others — especially females — find beautiful or attractive. He is not mean, per se, but he is willing to fight aggressively, physically if need be, for what he has and wants, and to maintain his status. Most of the time, he is confident and is very capable of protecting the others in the group.
Some additional characteristics apply for people. Many individuals associate being the dominant male with money, because a solid financial status usually lets a person engage in more activities, meet more people or acquire things others want and admire. Potential partners also usually like to see that a man is in a good financial position before they commit to a relationship with him. Men with this title typically are very well groomed, like being the center of attention, act both suave and cocky, excel at sports and are able to get along with many different types of people. Traditionally, others might usually describe him as a "lady's man" or a "man's man," indicating how most women are attracted to him, and how most men want to be like him and look to him for behavioral cues.
Rise to Status
Much of the time, alpha males achieve their status as a result of using their physical strength to overpower weaker competitors. They also sometimes use superior intelligence to outwit others, which is very common with men due to the fact that many cultures do not promote open violence — sometimes this manifests as verbal threats or psychological manipulation. A male may also fall into a position of leadership and authority by default, such as if the other males in the group die.
In many species, becoming a leading male does not guarantee that an animal can keep that position. Young, strong or ambitious challengers often try to take over the role, usually by physically fighting for it. These confrontations can take an enormous toll on the alpha, who must constantly be on the defense, and in nature, injuries gained can be fatal. Death usually doesn't occur with men, but it can if a fight severely escalates, and many individuals simply are not willing to take on the risks and stress associated with the role, despite the benefits that are possible.
When one of these males gets older, he might willingly step down as the official leader of the group. A good example is an aging businessman who resigns so that his top executive or main apprentice can take over, but this behavior happens in the wild, as well. It usually occurs because, on some level, he knows that someone else can do a better job or because he no longer wants the responsibility of leadership due to health or personal reasons.
Sexual behavior for a dominant male depends to a great extent on the social behavior of the exact species to which he belongs. Some animals, such as wolves and gibbons, form pair relationships that can be lifelong, and those in a pair generally do not mate with anyone else. Other animals, such as bonobo monkeys and elephant seals, are known for their promiscuity. Many other species fall somewhere in the middle, with an animal having more than one partner but choosing one that he prefers over the others.
With great physical stature, attractiveness and leadership abilities, these males are in a perfect position to take their pick of the available partners, who tend to be more willing to mate with them than with other members in the group. They also usually are able to control the ability of other males to mate, which makes a larger number of potential partners available, and which makes it easier for them to form several sexual relationships at a time.
Some zoologists see the genetically-influenced desire to mate as a major reason why males in a group exhibit alpha characteristics, and it is certainly true that being able to be selective about or have multiple partners directly affects the number of offspring and the genetic traits that get passed on. Even so, this concept gets a little muddy with people, because the reasons why being the “top dog” makes someone happy are often psychologically and culturally complex. Men often have other reasons for trying to be dominant, such as wanting to impress others or climb the corporate ladder.
In many societies, it is not acceptable to have more than one sexual partner at a time, usually for moral, religious or economic reasons. Additionally, many women prefer sensitive partners who are willing to discuss their feelings, traits not usually associated with dominance. As a result, alpha men who “sleep around” aren’t always free from criticism. Experts have questioned whether these individuals can retain mates because of the way their natural drive conflicts with other social constructs.
The majority of species feature beta males, who essentially are second in command. They help the dominant male do whatever it is he wants or needs to do, and in some species, the beta takes over if the leader dies or can no longer fulfill his duties. In this sense, they can be considered “in training,” but there is no guarantee that they will become the new alpha.
The term “beta” does not have quite the same connotation for men as it does for other animals. People often use it to describe someone who is the exact opposite of an alpha — that is, a man who is whiny, gives up easily, is emotionally very sensitive and who lacks physical attractiveness or strength. It is sometimes used as a euphemism for the stereotypical “nerd,” who generally is socially inept and who is overpowered easily.
Dominant females in a group are alpha females. They often pair and mate with the dominant males, usually leading alongside them. Sometimes, however, they assume complete leadership for the group, depending on the species and whether there are any males available who could assert a degree of authority. Although they can rise to this position through physical, emotional or verbal force, they sometimes do so simply because an alpha male has selected them as a mate, developing leadership by association. A powerful man, for example, might have a “trophy wife,” whom others respect and follow just because she is married to the alpha.
There is no such thing as this crap. Such stupid, rigid thinking. Guns solve the size queen debate and as far as what creates an alpha--if you are a big guy who gets a lot of girls and feels very comfortable and confident in his own skin, this does not make you alpha. This just makes you good with women and confident in your ability to defend yourself --but guess what? Guns.
To the men here saying they are worthless and they are inferior to "alphas," get real! You are only inferior if you believe it. The truth is everyone has different strengths and weaknesses and many great military conquerors have been what a lot of the guys here would describe as "beta". More often than not, what is described as "alpha" are the dopes fighting on the front lines while the "betas" are leading them.
Either grow out of this childish, sophomoric thinking or forever be bound by it.
P.S. Most women with half a brain in their heads loathe "alpha" males after age 25.
So many comments. I didn't read all of them. Anyway, I just want to say this: different people can have different opinions on what constitutes alpha-ness. To me, a real alpha male should be kind and compassionate, and with a "presence". It's pretty hard to describe but I will know it when I see it.
I'm so sick of this phoney Alpha/Beta narrative. Its simplistic and superficial. What I've observed from people using these terms Alpha/Beta, is that first people observe what personal characteristics they have and they call those "alpha" and call anything that is opposite of those characteristics "beta". In other words, it appears the terms "alpha" and "Beta" are self-serving terms used by people to specifically boost their own egos, while at the same time putting down others.
Second, to the degree people actually use those terms in a way that isn't self-serving, they are used simplistically and superficially because very, very few people would fit entirely in the category of Alpha or Beta.
Also, it appears that an important aspect of being an "alpha" according to many is the ability to control/influence people, but why is this important? Why does matter that anyone can control/influence anyone? Why would anyone want to control/influence anyone? I mean, I can actually imagine very good noble reasons in wanting to influence people, but that is not the impression I get from the kind of "influence" when talking about "alphas". It seems it's a kind of selfish motivation to want to control/influence people and in that context, why would this be an admirable trait?
Alpha or Beta depends on how your individual group classifies you. You can be Alpha in Canada but when you come to Africa, you find yourself somewhere below beta. Just as we can say that every city has its mad people, but the degree of madness is what differs.
An Alpha male just doesn't give a damn! Got goals? Got experience? Everyone has it and there's no reason to talk about them until asked. Want something? Go get it. Why are you talking about it? Need permission? From who? Be cool, calm. There is no one to impress. You are doing everything for yourself, getting experience, completing tasks. We are all the same. It's just that some people need to show it and some just don't care.
You people have never met a true alpha male. The females who have, never forget them.
I used to be an alpha male, but time and social circumstances in my high school led me to drop out of my position. Other alpha males came by who were bigger, stronger, more attractive and more intriguing than I was. I remember reading this article a while ago before everything changed, and in hindsight my view was completely different back then. About a year ago as an alpha, this article stroked my ego and made me feel even more self assured; now it throws me into a depression as i realize what I've lost and what I can't ever be again.
I think the article is a bit off. Alpha male dominance characteristics don't depend on social ranking, size or even physical attractiveness; rather, they depend on ones self image. An alpha male is absolutely individualistic and confident regardless of whether he stands 5'3 and lives in the slum. He could care less whether or not girls want him or find his accomplishments amazing, and he's beyond seeking them out consciously. He never struggles to fake disinterest in a female moreover because he simply doesn't care. If he's well dressed, he doesn't make a big deal about it, and if he's popular with girls he could care less. He could be friends with the most popular of people; he doesn't care.
His girlfriend doesn't have to be a supermodel for him to feel validated. None of those things define him. He sees himself as equal to everyone else. He doesn't add extra value to his accomplishments, and he never has to feign modesty. He's not excessively loud or demonstrative, but he can be if the situation calls for it. He can be anything he wants, yet he internalizes his shortcomings.
I think that these were the characteristics that attracted women to me back when I was an "Alpha male," so to speak.
I think an alpha male can be best defined as someone who isn't even familiar with the term alpha male or any of the criteria mentioned in here. It's someone who is unsatisfied with copying others and more interested in simply doing his own thing.
At least that's what I was until everything changed, and now here I am, a beta male perpetually terrified about what everyone else is thinking of him.
The "Alpha Male" is a pseudoscientific concept that seeks to divide people into concrete categories. You know, like race and gender. That is all.
The "alpha" must exist along a lifespan curve as it does a civilization curve. Some 600 years ago, an alpha may have been someone large enough to swing a broadsword. Then, 400 years later, an alpha may have been someone slim yet innovative enough to create a black powder weapon.
I think the alpha concept is kind of like society's round peg, round hole deal. People will always defer to qualities that are important at the time. Let's face it -- if you were lost in the woods with Einstein and a tracker, the tracker would be the star of the play.
So as it goes over centuries, it also goes over lifespans. Skills that pay the bills are not common in high school. However, given enough time, degrees and graduate degrees add up to the ability to accumulate resources, which become much more attractive to the opposite sex than muscle.
I don't think anyone would argue that insolence and irreverence or being a jerk off are qualities that lead to high earnings in the long run. However, those qualities do seem to attract attention in high school.
The high school alpha jock can crash and burn right after college, while the high school beta can graduate with honors and then go on to make a fortune and ultimately drive a company into the ground out of greed.
Character, insecurity and human nature carry the day.
Interesting comments here. The most 'Alpha' males as you guys put it are probably the guys with the shortest comments, usually with no anger, rage or not having to bash others.
I was a nurse in the Army and worked in a medical detachment around Special Forces, i.e, Army Rangers and sometimes, even some Navy SEALS in the Gulf Wars. I had alpha males out the wazoo.
Frankly, all the posturing and plumage got to me. The constant strutting and aggression were a big turn-off. None of them seemed to respect any of us female nurses, or even seem to care if we were married. I had the jerks making passes at me even when they discovered I was pregnant! There was no depth to them, no intelligence, no substance, just a never-ending one upmanship. My husband was a Vietnam era fighter pilot and 25 years older than I was, but he never was into the Top Gun mentality, just a draftee that was selected for pilot training and a beta male that was always a good husband and father; a bookish, introspective guy who had never been a chest-thumper and had never strutted a day in his life.
Most of us nurses in the field reached a consensus: give us the beta males every time. Alpha males are high maintenance and the male version of high school mean girls.
Interesting topic, but let's consider some things. Where exactly does the difference in the Alpha-Beta classes lie?
Psychological, physical, sexual? I doubt that there are men so varied in these regards that you can just sort them into categories.
Assuming that just because animals "appear" to have some sort of superior-inferior structure does not mean that it also applies to humans, only making it more likely that this is so.
Some of what is mentioned by others is completely useless- intelligence prevails over strength almost any time. If an Alpha male is chosen by sheer physical strength, what is to say that the Beta male cannot bring a weapon in the situation that they need to fight.
Now the fight shifts into the Beta male's favor, and he wins the fight, and the Alpha male is in hospital or worse. So who exactly is the Alpha male in that situation? The man who had a natural chance to win should they both play fairly, or the man who ultimately wins by cunning and deception?
No amount of muscle defends against a blade. Only the smart person will bring a blade to a fistfight.
Others will judge it more mentally. Okay, let's forget about the physical build that the Alpha male worked so hard to get to and the Beta male did not bother to try to acquire.
For a true Alpha male to exist, he needs to be able to adapt. The Alpha male of ancient times- the hunter, gatherer- is useless in today's context of business and profit and vice versa. It is impossible that people would be created to have a natural talent in all regards, hence, the Alpha male stereotype is likely to change as time passes.
I believe it is the smart man who prevails in all situations. Charisma and intelligence allows men to have other men subservient to them. People have mentioned Hitler as an example- the strengths of millions became his strengths through his charismatic qualities. He did not have physical strength personally, but he had world changing strength literally. If I'm charismatic and intelligent, I can merely get others to fill in the spaces in which I am lacking. The physically strong man etc lacks the ability to do such.
Hence, I believe it is safe to say that the leaders of the world are the closest to true Alpha males -- people who may fit the steoreotype are ultimately subservient to them. The leaders absorb the strength of those underneath them, but those underneath do not share the strength of those above.
During my teenage years, I had strong control over all of my friends. They did as I said and I never did as they said. I was intelligent enough to smooth talk my way out of trouble almost every time. I was the one holding the cards over the others, and so, unintentionally I am likely to be Alpha- or at least, the Alpha of my "pack".
Others are claiming it to be confidence. Confidence often works both ways; it makes people commit both mistakes and successes. Confidence is not so much a positive factor. I consider it neutral. The shy person who has the least confidence will miss potential successes, but also misses potential failures. I find that there is nothing superior about either.
Dictators and terrorists are probably closer to "Alpha" than the "successes" of today. These are people who defy the odds pushing forwards their agenda, no matter what the cost.
Most people are weak willed and so rally behind one person. It is natural that they find that person to be "Alpha" otherwise they would have no incentive to follow them. Following someone you believe is inferior to yourself is counter-productive.
Hence, those who are followed by the most people -- willingly -- are the closest to true "Alphas". Any man who proclaims himself to be an Alpha simply because he is the leader in his family is merely false; he has no influence outside of his own house. His control exists only within the radius of a few people. He is ultimately nothing.
What would the world be without those guys and what is the world with them? Are we lucky because they are not common or should we be worried? And is our society well balanced?
There's a lot more to alpha identity than just interactions with mates. It's like you're a different species, almost.
It is more than just the perception that you are more intelligent, or better looking, or more physically fit. It is that you are. The challenges in the life of someone who is an alpha are struggles against groups of betas or omegas who have found ways to adapt as a group.
You spend your whole life dodging snipes in every facet of life from people who are afraid to compete directly with you. Most of the time you won't even know where the bullets are coming from as the social networks acts as a shroud for passive-aggressive, cooperative behavior. Ironically, you spend that time wishing someone could compete directly with you so that you could really shine.
The only real comforting thought is that if they have to work together just to hold you back, that you are better. An alpha needs to emulate being a beta just to compete in most walks of life. To be honest, I feel like that's an improvement on the basic alpha characteristic set, though. An alpha emulating a beta gets the best of both worlds.
I'm the lowest form of life on the planet. I don't give a crap about alpha/beta, but alphas do obviously have a tendency to tick me off when they're trying to be dominant. Oh yeah, sure, they strike fear in my heart, but that doesn't change the fact that they look stupid to me when they think violence is going to make me believe in their opinions. It never does, and when they realize that I fully realize all they are -- just people who won a genetic lottery.
They're often the dumb ones who know they're dumb but have no reason to give a crap because people flock to them and treat them exactly how they want to be treated. Either way, life is great if you're an alpha, and to hell with everyone else, especially those who are considerably weaker in any way and for any reason.
Death to the weak, and hail the undeserving alphas because the weak are too stupid or frightened to say what they truly feel in person.
The universe is run by the power of lust. Understand this and you will not waste your time debating this.
The term “alpha male” is only a description. O.K., call it a label. It’s a way to describe someone in one name that says it all. It can be positive or negative; you put on the spin.
In post 127, the description is perfect. The alpha male puts women at ease and isn’t that what it’s all about for the female? To be subconsciously in sync with a man whose mere presence makes you feel protected, secure, and safe? No fidgety, nerdy Chicken Little who panics at every stressor is going to do that for you.
And oh yes, there is a lid for that pot, too. There are women just looking for the passive nervous nellie who needs a Wendy to take care of the fort so he can be off for his Peter Pan adventures. I see this all the time. So no one can throw all the ingredients in the cupboard into the soup and expect to have anything that tastes even close to good.
You girls out there know what an alpha is. You sense it. You know it. You want it. It feels good. It makes you feel more feminine and you like it. It’s real simple and there isn’t any need for over intellectualizing this. It’s been around for centuries and likely will continue on ad infinitum.
I’ve been married to both a passive guy and an alpha guy. Too bad I picked them in reverse order. I should have gone for the passive one first. I would probably still be married to the alpha. For those of you who think these nerdy nice guys are going to treat you better, think again. There is a huge correlation between men who have Asperger’s and the geek professions. And if there is one kind of Chinese water torture you do not want to experience, that would be marriage to a guy with Asperger’s, and that’s a whole other story.
'Alpha', or 'beta' are terms simply having to do with testosterone levels, nothing more. If you have a significantly longer ring finger than pointer finger, you are alpha, if not you're a beta.
Alphas, due to their higher T levels, usually have an easier time building muscle and are more athletic, but that is the only real difference between an alpha and a beta.
Betas can be very dominant, have leadership abilities, deep voices, have masculine-looking faces, etc. while some alphas are short, have boyish-looking faces, higher voices, etc. At the end of the day, though, it's all about ring finger length. For example, I'm an alpha even though I'm short and have a slightly higher voice.
What I've found is that there are many betas who have a built-in insecurity about being betas (because of articles like this) who try to mimic alpha behaviors and end up looking like they're trying too hard. This is how you have so many pick-up truck driving, tattoo wearing, piercing-having, tough, blustering guys out there who pretend to be alphas.
A real alpha just is. He doesn't have to pretend, or impress anyone. He is usually the more relaxed, mellow guy who, most of the time, is naturally 'the nice guy' because he knows his role is to be the leader and/or protector. He's usually the 'adult in the room' who is fair-minded and treats everyone with respect, from the janitor to the business owner.
Real alpha traits are being relaxed, speaking slower, more confidence (not faked cockiness), have a higher degree of naturally occurring muscle tone as well as higher degree of naturally-occurring male pheromone. But other than that, everything else is variable.
Women tend to respond to alphas because alphas make women feel at ease. They don't try to impress women with conversational gymnastics, but will go up to women, remain in their space for prolonged periods of time without asking permission, or particularly saying much, and then calmly ask about mundane things, or make banal statements. Everything that might sound boring if said by someone else becomes more interesting when an alpha says it (purely because they speak slower and let it sink in).
As far as alphas making worse husbands, this is not necessarily true. I think the problems arise when an alpha male is paired with a beta female. Alpha males and alpha females (also beta males and beta females) tend to understand each other on a subconscious level more so than mixed couples. Same with alpha males and other alpha males who are friends (in a friendship).
In my experience, I haven't been able to befriend too many betas because they are always trying to dominate the friendship and/or trying to assert control over me, which I do not allow. I believe this comes from a deep-seeded insecurity and envy. With other alpha male friends, I have no such problems. We understand each other as equals and never try to dominate one another for any reason.
I don't think betas have anything to be envious about because they have their own positive traits that make them compelling in a variety of ways (intellectual, strong personality, ambitious, attractive etc.) Alphas have their own traits as well, so it all evens itself out.
One thing is for sure: whenever you see that muscular guy in a beat-up car who doesn't seem to care, he's most likely an alpha.
@anon273273: You're certainly entitled to your opinion, but there's no question that some human males are more domineering than others.
There's nothing of Nazi thought in discussing inborn tendencies. The Nazis were nationalists first and foremost. They then enthusiastically espoused the concept of eugenics, which is, essentially, selective breeding of humans for "desirable" traits.
They believed they were the master race because they thought Aryans were just naturally superior to every other race, period. Eugenics just gave them an excuse to commit atrocities. Many other western nations also embraced eugenics, although not to the extent that Nazi Germany did -- fortunately.
Implying that an article is nazist because it says some tendencies may be inborn just doesn't make sense. And since most of the writers on this site are from the U.S., it kind of makes sense that their points of view are largely Ameri-centric.
I'll even agree with you that Americans do have the unfortunate tendency to make everything into a competition, but it's not paranoia. I'd call it more of a cultural construct.
Oh, that's right. I got it!
Alpha males equal male whores. Beta males equal men to marry. So ladies, let's party a lot with the alphas and then marry betas! Just like they do with us!
What an idiotic, sexist article, with nazist tendencies. To say people born with this or with that is the basis of nazism, and it's too American culture oriented. Besides, this alpha x beta thing is an obvious extension of the American obsession of the loser versus winner paranoia.
The notion of "alphas" is pseudoscientific nonsense. At best we can say that some people are just lucky. Some people have good looks, money, athletic ability, intelligence, or whatever. To attempt a classification of it is not only inaccurate, it seeks to overturn human civilization as we knew it.
I am quite certain there is such a personality type as the alpha male. Western society is filled with them and if you do not believe it turn on the television.
JFK seems to be one of the best examples of the alpha male. In fact, most American presidents seem to fit the role. It has more to do with the ability to achieve power, control, wealth and status.
Men like this live charmed lives: achieving high success as measured by society. I doubt we will hear much from someone who is an alpha type, since it is not part of their self concept to discuss themselves in an open way. They are doers and have much better things to do than look up information about psychological models of behavior.
I also believe that many can have sociopathic tendencies. In fact, it is quite common in the business world. I would suggest almost all CEO's fit the alpha male model. Although I think now about Bill Gates, who seems more likely to be the beta type personality.
Alphas have one glaring weakness unless they mature: they are always right and as such, cannot grow as human beings. Some of the alphas who have deeper aspects of self overcome this to become well-rounded individuals.
I am more the beta type, and finding personal success outside the western model is a rather difficult and lonely path. I do admit to sometimes being dazzled by the glitz and wishing I had some of it but I have no talents to achieve that, nor would I find it fulfilling for long anyway.
It is interesting reading the comments here and seeing how polarized they are. I wonder if some of the extremely negative comments come from the would-be alphas who could not make the cut.
I do not mind labels, myself. In fact, I find a certain validation in noticing similarities in the ideas of differing models of myself. I can see some of this beta concept in me. My psychiatrist puts the label Bipolar Disorder on me, which has some truth to it as well. I am also a son, brother, uncle and friend. Well, lots of things, really.
Now I want to go make friends with someone I perceive as an alpha and see if I am correct.
I just think calling someone alpha or beta is the most ridiculous thing ever. I don't see much difference between that and the nazist ideal of a superior race.
There is no such thing as a human alpha. It's possible to describe humans as having "alpha" characteristics, but it's not possible to develop a clear definition of an alpha male or female. Ask any two "alpha males" (or anyone else) what an alpha male is, and each will give a different description.
Human interaction is far too complex for this sort of typecasting. There is no league of alpha males in the human community, because there is no biologically recognized concept of an alpha human; anyone who calls themselves an alpha is just using the word as an adjective. In this light, the idea of a "beta" human is even more ridiculous.
To realize all of this, you don't have to travel farther than the comments on this article; no one can agree on the definition of an alpha male. No one can cite anything to back their ideas up either, because there is no scientific proof behind them.
As a side note: the idea of alpha wolves is outdated because alpha male and female wolves are simply the mother and father of a family of age-ranked beta and omega siblings.
I personally think alpha males can be real jerks. They already have a huge ego and then to label them alpha only increases their supposed confidence.
I think a guy who can make a girl laugh, feel good about herself, and can be a romantic once in a while will steal a girl's heart any day of the week before someone who is muscle bound and all about them. A girl wants to be treated with respect and loved deeply. Putting her needs first is a turn on. But most guys don't get that.
I think it's just a phrase people say to make themselves feel better. In the end, it's a failure because life may have times where being dominant is necessary, but the problem is that being dominant is not all that life is about, which is what these people seem to think.
They will get dumped by longtime girlfriends, shunned by friends, and find themselves around people who get bored with their antics. Be a human, not a subclass creature who believes in control over others.
just to update from post 84: the alpha male may have good long term benefits as well.
Nice article on this subject. I really enjoyed reading it and it certainly revealed the alpha male characteristics for me. Thanks for sharing.
don't be a people pleaser and then you will be an alpha. Way too many people copy each other and it has nothing to do with looks, either. Confidence is the key and it's something hard to come by.
I think that anyone can be alpha. Well the thing is if you want to be alpha, then you have to have talent! Talent in anything that people might look up for and gather support. Girls would be there on your booming talent! Just have to create the right effect.
You can be alpha on your looks, intelligence, physique.. etc. But overall, a multi-talented person who can attract attention though he does not boast himself, and most importantly people gather around to get support, is the real alpha!
This pop-psychology is nothing more than-crap. 1) An "alpha" male is defined as a natural leader and sexually dominant/irresistible to women (if heterosexual). What about great "sexless" tyrants in modern history: Lenin, Stalin, Franco, Hitler? They simply didn't care about sex. Power and ideology were much more important for them.
2) This pop-stuff is a display of mindlessness of a rootless culture. Who were the greatest lovers (or "sexers", to coin a neologism) in modern (post 1800) history? Franz Liszt, Victor Hugo, Honore de Balzac, George Byron, Frederic Chopin, Richard Wagner -- in short, artists with no "alpha" imagined traits. Frequently insecure, self-doubting, effeminate (Chopin).
3) As for self-assuredness and leadership, what about Albert Einstein or Isaac Newton (this one never had sex)?
In creative fields, especially science, the "leadership quality" has more to do with one's intellectual strength, insight and originality, than with cocky posturing. In short, the entire "Greek alphabet" ideology, when applied to humans is bunk.
Alpha males do not feel the need to push their weight around or belittle others to prove themselves. The people who do this are insecure and have shallow personalities; they are not alphas.
Alphas who are among other alphas who are working as a team recognize the need for there to be a leader who may also be a mentor to them and are accepting of that. The leader will depend upon them to take the instructions and run with it, improvise as necessary and report back to the leader. They understand the necessity for cohesiveness to attain a goal. There will always be betas in the mix and they will be encouraged to improve their strengths and confidence to rise to the challenge.
Alphas are mentally and physically astute and are well within ourselves. Our self worth is more important than showing our worth. Even though many of us have successful careers. we live conservatively.
As for responder #9 making the comment about the nerd in the classroom being the "boss" of an alpha, everyone has a boss, even the nerd. Get over it.
I loved a female sociopath who fits all the characteristics of an alpha female. In fact, I spent forever reading about sociopaths to explain her "walking all over people" point of view instead of dominance then learned that's what alphas do.
For reference, she is a sociopath, not discovered by traits but because she actually admitted it to me. I had no clue about this alpha anything. Now she's an alpha female sociopath. Chances are they probably get more males then regular alpha females and I know she knocks out everyone who's around her on purpose for entertainment or being sick.
I wonder which group I fit in. So here we go and you guys can tell me your opinion.
I'm a smart guy usually (all the best grades). Some call me a nerd but I don't really care. I'm also doing some bodybuilding, and in both of those I always give my best because I can consider myself as a perfectionist. I already have plans for my future which I want to make a reality, and usually if things don't go as I planned, I go off-track.
Recently, I started being the one who I really am and I noticed that most of my class started ignoring me. I didn't show them that I really care about it (as I have many other friends outside). They even tried to make fun of me when I talk with girls but I ignored that too. After that, they stopped it, but from that group of people who don't like me, six or eight still do talk to me and make jokes and all. Only two do I find problematic and I never liked them. Others follow them like dogs but I don't. I find all eight idiotic because of that. I have separated myself from them totally because I don't want to be someone's hound. But the problem is that, in their group, there is 1 girl I like, but it seems like she is not interested in me because I don't express myself like the others and I don't fit in that group (because I still don't want to follow the two guys whom I find inferior to me in both strength and mind).
The only problem I ever had in life is with girls because I never had enough self-confidence with them, but still half of the town knows me and most of the people like me. I am respected for my strength and intelligence, but still, the girl from my class doesn't pay attention to what I am saying, which really makes me angry. As she looks like the alpha female in my class, I decided to make her my girlfriend because I again find her to fit perfectly to my personality, but again I am good person and I don't want to hurt her feelings or something like that and I don't want to be rude to her (while other guys are and she is interested in them somehow) as I have a fear of being dumped if I ask her to be my girlfriend.
So that's mostly my story and concern. People do follow me. I find myself strong and intelligent but never good enough because I think I can always do even more and I really do, but it seems I can't gain enough self-confidence with girls. So can someone tell me where do I exactly fit in?
Unscientific nonsense. Alpha males are that because in most species females have restricted breeding periods. This is not the case in humans. As a result, pretty much all males can breed.
The notion of Alpha males is pernicious and damaging to boys (and eventually to girls). It leads to a top dog anti learning bullying culture which is not in the best interests of society. I believe this notion is a result of very lazy thinking.
What about Alpha Females? Yes, there are those. They are the girls who get the guy. They are the women who, once they mature, want to have everyone at "their" house.
They want to be married to an Alpha man because they don't want sloppy seconds all their life. They need a man who will be in the top, keep them in the top, and they like to marry well so they don't have to worry about having a miserable life of always being second rate, struggling, and always being a day late, a dollar short, and a block away.
The alphas signify the man who "plans his work" and "works his plan." This is very comforting to a woman who will one day have someone's children, and be financially dependent on them.
Its funny reading the comments here by self-appointed Alphas. If you need to boast about being an Alpha and by "beating up" on people, then sorry sonny, you're not Alpha. You're a wannabee.
Alphas don't need to prove anything. They just are. Alphas don't need to boast about women falling at their feet - its just part of life, isn't it? Alphas don't need to dress in the smartest suit - dress him as a tramp and he'd still carry himself in the same way.
You don't appoint yourself Alpha and claim "I'm an Alpha male" to anyone who'll listen; other people give you that status in the way they react and respond to you. If you feel you do need to do it on your own behalf, then you're not Alpha.
Treat people with respect. Be nice. Be strong on the inside and have a stronger heart.
Always speak your mind, though be mindful of others.
Only compete with yourself, and improve for the better.
Never put people down. After all, they are your people and you are there to protect them. Fight in their corner and stick up for them but most important, give them support and courage when they need it.
Try not to fight. It's childish and pointless, plus a real man only fights as a last resort.
Remember: taking the lead does not mean taking control. It means leading by example so that others can follow.
Being alpha is not about being the strongest. It's sometimes about being the wisest, and believe me, many a little boy disguised as a big man has challenged me and they always lose to themselves before a fight even begins.
You wan to be alpha? Start with respect, treat others with more respect than they deserve, lead the way both mentally and physically.
Most of all remember you are the best you that you can possibly be and no one can take that away from you no matter how hard they try. Do this and have fun, relax and be nice and the women will notice. The rest is up to you
By the way, in case you're wondering if I'm an alpha.
I don't know. I just know others who are around me think so, and you know what? I don't care.
But whatever I have (and it's not looks), as soon as I enter a room the women notice and they like it.
But whatever. That's what i do and that's how i think. If you think I'm beta so what? i don't care. If you just implement these little things in your life, you'll be more alpha than most.
Response to 101: Interesting comment. Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, John Edwards are all leaders (assuming your JE is the senator from N. Carolina), whereas the alpha males you identify are certainly famous, but not noted for leadership.
Being an alpha male simply put means confidence, security and being manly in all aspects in contrast to being effeminate, jerk, loser, narcissistic, megalomaniac. Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon, Denzel Washington, Brett Favre are so alpha. Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, John Edwards are not.
A great article and list of comments that shows a consistent lack of real understanding of what a true Alpha Male really is; so let’s set the record straight.
Being Alpha is all about being “top dog”. It is about control over yourself, being at the top in whatever career you are in, and being the leader in your relationships. It starts with developing a solid “inner game” which is basically the development of self-control. Only once a man has a good level of self-control is he then ready to develop the skills to exert enormous influence over others. Many wannabe Alphas lack this “inner game” and then try to exert influence the skills needed by bullying and aggressive behavior. They are not alphas!
A true Alpha Male knows he is at the top of whatever group he is a part of, and because he is at the top, he is quite naturally listened too and followed. He does not need to prove his dominance by being pushy or obnoxious as his position at the top is readily obvious to everyone in the entire group. When challenged, a true Alpha will listen to what is being said while still retaining his dominance. He is not threatened by either Beta Males, or other Alphas. True Alpha Males are able to recognize other Alphas instantly, but an encounter between two true Alphas is so incredibly rare because there are so few real Alphas around.
Alpha Males rise to positions of leadership in a very natural way, simply because they exhibit the traits necessary to lead effectively, men and women look to them without questioning their social status or their position at the top because these things are self-evident in the conduct of the true Alpha Male.
Alphas have vastly superior social skills to Beta Males. They have a way with people that is magnetic and attractive to those around them, who follow their lead naturally and without question. The simple reality is that the vast majority of people like to follow the lead of a competent and strong individual who knows what they are about and where they are going. These are the leaders that everybody flocks too, men and women combined.
Women, of course, are sexually attracted to the Alpha Male on a very deep and fundamental level as Alpha men understand female instincts and know how to be attractive to them. Alpha Males do not behave like the typical emasculated male; they have no shame in their masculinity whatsoever. These are the guys who never have to chase women, simply because they have developed and work with the traits that all women find attractive on the most basic level. The true Alpha Male is himself chased by women, who will compete to get his attention. True Alphas have no concerns about missing out on female attention because they have so many options to choose from, they can simply pick from one of the dozens of women who want to be with them. When an Alpha Male chooses to settle down, he will have a variety of choices again, and will invariably end up with a better class of woman.
Beta Males, on the other hand, spend massive amounts of time and energy chasing women, and will go to enormous lengths to get the attention of a woman they like. When they marry they usually have little in the way of options and are often soon finding themselves in the divorce court, as they have great problems keeping a woman interested in them for any length of time; they simply have no understanding of the basic instincts involved in sexual attraction. Many Betas have a large number of female friends, or continually find themselves caught in the “friend zone” in their relationships.
Lastly, Alpha Male behavior most definitely can be learned. The “inner game” can definitely be developed and “outer game” in the way of advanced social skills and leadership characteristics can certainly be learned. However, like most personal growth journeys, there are many who would like to become a true Alpha Male and very few who will put in the effort to develop the traits that the Alpha has.
Response to post 95: From reading your post I'll assume you are a Scorpio, and mostly all of them have a tendency to be alpha males, yet all do not choose to be.
In response to post 91, being promiscuous is not definitive to being an alpha male, i.e. Hugh Hefner. As a female, I would not follow that guy anywhere, not even into a closet. Alphas are leaders who advance the group as a whole and do not focus on their own selfish desires. Hefner is a low level beta at best.
Alpha male stuff is mostly crap. The dominant personality usually depends upon the circumstances.
For example, a so-called Alpha male body builder may become a so-called Omega male when faced with a technological problem or situation they do not understand. The Alpha male geek may be at a complete loss at a rifle shooting contest.
I think one of the earlier posters explained it best when he stated that he had seen so-called Omega men become hell on wheels during a military battle. I, myself, have seen the consensus Alpha male nearly crap himself from fear while men who were seldom noticed faced their fear and kept on keeping on.
Personally, I am often considered an Alpha male as I am easily remembered and folk often look to me to see what to do next. However, I know that I also have been the beta male or even the omega male on many different occasions, depending upon the situation.
Finally, being an Alpha male is not necessarily a good thing. I found out long ago that I could usually persuade anyone to do most anything I wanted them to do. However, just because I could do it does not mean that I should do it. Being the guy in charge carries a heavy responsibility that one should not take without due consideration.
Jerks who exercise power simply because they can often find themselves leading people that they do not even like to place nobody really wants to go.
Guess I am trying to say that, as in everything else, it all depends upon the circumstances and who else in in the group as to who becomes alpha. It is a shifting role that seldom stays with one person in every situation.
Don't worry about being Alpha or Beta or Omega. Just worry about being you and let the rest take care of itself. If you want to be an Alpha too badly, you probably won't be. Just be yourself.
Can someone help me identify what I would be classified as?
From my point of view, I can easily spot who is alpha, beta, and omega out of the people I associate myself with. The thing is, I do not have one pack of friends, I have multiple friends, from different groups.
I have been told I am more mysterious, and quieter than most, but when I think of quiet people, I would think of an omega, maybe a beta. Everyone in any group I am with, have a lot of respect for me, and I have been told I am intimidating to approach by girls.
I have, on multiple occasions, met someone new, who has said, "Oh you're so an so? I have heard a lot about you, but never met you." Or something along those lines.
I know inside, I could easily be a leader, alpha, whatever you want to call it, but I prefer to do my own thing, and if someone copies or follows, that's cool too.
When I was in elementary school, I was clearly alpha, but now that I am older, I am more laid back. I am outgoing when I am with fewer people, otherwise I become an observer.
I know it might sound like I am fishing for an answer that says, "Yeah man, you are totally alpha," but here is where it gets me. I have no problem backing down to any one. I will firmly make my point, and leave it at that. I do not like confrontation. I am not implying I am a wuss, but I just could care less about arguing over most things.
Can someone shed some light for what classifies me? I might be all of the above if that's possible.
Did you ever notice on an animal show how the alpha wolf is constantly tried by the beta wolves?
If you are constantly tried by bosses, co-workers, family, friends chances are you are probably an alpha male.
An alpha is not "put" in charge, an alpha is in charge and will be forced to defend this place by constant trials. The world we have created and the natural world are not the same.
The alpha male is more adapted to the natural world and might be displaced out of it.
In response to anon96865 (post 90). Typical dumb response to a well thought out article. Listen, everything can be taught and learned. Hugh Hefner, the alpha male of alpha males has recounted his story of how he "recreated" himself when he was a young man. He then planned out his new 'playboy' character and started the famous magazine by that name.
Hugh was a geek in school (by his own admission) and read comics and pulps (he has a copy of the famous sci fi pulp "Amazing Stories" beside his desk on the wall and talk about it in a recent interview).
Your example about the playground is nonsense. Making up a statement "you don't 'become' " and expecting us to believe it merely because you state it is reveals a lack of understanding about real life. In real life, you are what you make yourself to be. Alphas, betas, etc., is all mental and as a mental thing can be changed. Cults brainwash people to do all kinds of crazy things and you think mere confidence (yes real solid confidence) cannot be taught?
Ever fight in a war? I have and have seen many so-called 'betas' and 'omegas' who would cower in their pants about asking a woman out be transformed into what you would call alphas. After going through hell and seeing the transient nature of life and death and dodging bullets for awhile you don't give a crap about 'fear' and being 'afraid' to talk to women. Are women enemy combatants firing at you? Then they and all the so called social 'problems' you had before pale and fade away instantly proving they are all in the mind.
Here's a secret: there is no such thing as alpha, beta, omega or anything else -- we are all the same species having arrived because our ancestors fought on and bred and lived. Is there a man alive who is not the product of thousands of years of struggles and genetic survival? No, there is not. It's all in the mind.
And your final statement which read: "Feel good about who you are! And, it's okay to be a beta or omega male." is arrogant beyond words. The whole point of betas and omegas is they can't feel good about themselves and can't get women and that is not normal. That's the point.
Now I'm not saying all men need to join the army and fight a war to straighten out but rather to use that as an example to gain hope from and to reinvent themselves. Read the story of Rod Serling, who was a shy boy and how fighting in the South Pacific in Word War II showed him what real fear is and made him realize asking a woman out, being confident around others, etc., etc. in normal civilian life is nothing. It's beyond nothing and easy when you realize what life and death are and how we are hear for only a short time before we have to meet our Maker.
Deal with it.
Captain Dominico S.
Interesting- men thinking they can 'become' an A-male. Posers. Good luck with that.
Ever seen a man walk into a room, perhaps a plain, ordinary, average Joe kind of guy, but every man notices him. There's a quite, solid, core confidence about him. You don't 'become' that.
You can pick them out as children on the playground. A guy pushes another guy and yells at him. His sister walks up and the guy screws up his face and makes fun of her, too. Then, a young man steps from the sidelines and between them. Not loud, not angry, no adrenaline, but simply tells the b-male bully to stop it- now. The bully yells back at the A-male in some effort to save face, then steps away. You don't 'become' that.
A-males exude a quite solid unshakable confidence, protect the pack, control the dominant b-males, hunt alone, and tend to be good problem solvers and very, very intelligent. They observe the social interactions and may direct it selectively. They identify other Alpha males very quickly and will enter into a sort of intellectual butt-sniffing. (the braggart, name-dropper types being the beta, the smiling a lot and seemingly a bit uncomfortable around this particular person is an omega male. The look-you-in-the-eye polite smile that is listens closely and ask a few basic questions is your Alpha.) You don't 'become' that.
Sam Elliot= A-male Tom Cruise= b-male
Bill Clinton= A-male Barrack Obama= b-male
See how easy this is. Women are so much better at seeing this than men.
You either are or are not an Alpha male. You don't go to the gym or read some book and 'become' that.
And if you don't believe that the human social order has an Alpha/beta/omega organization- well, that's fine too. Feel good about who you are! And, it's okay to be a beta or omega male.
There is a common misconception within society than an alpha male has to be dominant and aggressive. But the truth is that aggressiveness and reactiveness shows insecurity. Alpha males are dominant, yet gentle and kind.
They portray good body language and are relaxed in social situations. If a beta male tries to one-up them, the beta thing to do would be to try and one up them again, whereas the alpha thing to do, would be to just realize the truth behind it, or not even notice.
When a woman throws a test at a man, most guys will completely buy into that frame and try and seek approval to compensate. The way of the alpha doesn't need to seek approval, but instead they would realize that the women is just testing him to see if he is alpha.
The alpha will just laugh it off and think "silly girls," not taking their tests very seriously. The women will give him points for this. It is true that the alpha is the leader, but leading with confidence and charisma, not aggression and fear.
Overbearing, aggressive and arrogant is mistaken for powerful buy a lot of people.
Most of the people who I know who proclaim themselves as "Alphas" don't dominate anything but their own egos and nobody really likes them.
The people I admire are the ones who are wise and respectful. Only shallow morons care about some imaginary social rating scale. It is just as silly as someone thinking having more posts on an internet forum makes you more powerful or superior.
I am an Alpha female and have been all of my life. There are males in my friendship group whom i exert control over also.
It is not a good thing to be an alpha. After a while you see the devastating affects it has on the others in the group, such as cowardice when you become too controlling and aggressive, it's like one big ego trip.
But of course, everyone needs a break once in a while, but then who do the Betas and Omegas turn to? They still look to you, and you put them down and make yourself a hypocrite when you manipulate them and try and help them.
No one ever mentions the subconscious responsibility an Alpha has. "Heavy is the head that wears the Crown"; couldn't be more true.
Alpha from Texas! If you want a man who treats you correctly, call me! Don't listen to betas and omegas. They are losers. The last bastion of being an alpha is being a feminist. Women are more important for reproduction, but men make better decisions. Call me if you come to Texas!
Everyone defines alpha differently. If by alpha you mean confident and cocky, and by beta you mean submissive, i would think being either or is not the way to go. Isn't life about balance?
You shouldn't always be an alpha and you shouldn't always be a beta, but you should react and adapt to different situations. Knowing your limits may be a beta characteristic, but an alpha knows when to give respect to whom it's due.
Showing strength is an alpha characteristic, but showing too much strength where it is uncalled for can get you a label as a beta. Alpha omega males should be confident, but wary, caring, but defensive, spontaneous, but strategic, everything and nothing at the same time.
Know yourself, stretch your limits, experience as much as you can, work hard, play hard, do what you want to do. Don't label yourself as anything except as a constantly adapting survivor.
What do you guys think? no one hates on anyone who's trying to get theirs.
To be honest, I have always had pretty lady partners and booty calls, but after reading all these posts (and i also read the book on alpha male myself) the alpha male is really just a "state of mind." I'm not going to deny that it does work and the alpha male is really just like a dating system.
So, my point is does the alpha male exist? well it's the newest thing to get into defoe and everyone is on it and it has helped thousands of people in the dating game but to take it as your own personality? It has advantages and disadvantages in the long run but whoever created it is definitely amazing.
I'm part of no religion. But jesus or the being we have been told was a man named jesus, he was an alpha.
Not by human design, but by the spirit.
God made other men "ranked" above "normal" mere men.
To be chosen by a higher power is the greatest way to determine an alpha in my own chosen eyes.
Other men will argue, but it will be jealousy more so than proof saying someone is not chosen by the spirit.
For what man can conclude that god, a spirit(john 4:24) did not come into another?
The man that would attempt to lead other men to believe that such a chosen man was not what he was (with the spirit inside the flesh).
That man would be defined as a beta -- or less.
Please express your views.
I'm not here to argue, but to mingle with intellect, not ignorance.
All this talk about alpha/beta male is foolishness. Are we still animals like cavemen who class their society with these labels?
As Volition pointed out, we are far too complex to be pigeon holed into some categories we created. 90 percent of the posts here sound like conformists to typical social roles.
Oh, and Alpha4Real, I couldn't give a rat's behind how many "alphas" are in this forum, O.K.?
While I like the various explanations of the "Alpha male," it really boils down to the fact that an Alpha male is a leader. Period.
I've seen some ugly looking guys with beautiful women on their arms. He's simply a leader. He exudes confidence, and speaks with confidence too.
All that talk about being muscle guys is old. Moreover, an alpha does not have to be wealthy. Every culture and sub-culture has different levels of socioeconomic standings; these levels have their respective "alphas."
Finally, being an alpha is a state of mind. If you want to truly take the lead, and you do what is necessary to take the lead, you're an alpha.
anon49800 is the only one who has said anything even remotely accurate in this discussion and I believe the true Alpha of this bunch.
Is anyone a perfect, complete alpha or complete beta or omega. No one is. People are amalgamations of all qualities. Some manage to hide their beta 'qualities' and some don't. Every macho has some weaknesses and every non macho has some strong points. It's only a matter of luck. Either you get the opportunity to show your alpha qualities or you don't. So it is a little unfair to label some alpha, beta, gamma or omega.
You don't have to be one or the other. You can be alpha and omega and still be a supreme being. God is the most supreme being in the universe. Do you think God is an alpha male? Wrong. He is both.
"I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty." Revelation 1:8
I honestly don't think a real alpha male would research "alpha male."
What is the difference between an Alpha Male and a Sociopath?
I ask the exact same questions myself.
Out of 73 comments from roughly 58 or so people, there appears to be fewer than 22 real alphas in this forum.
Real alphas don't have to prove anything, at least not to the crowd. That's why a real alpha rarely fights, male or female.
A lot of wannabe alphas or betas, maybe even self-assured omegas, will try the alpha, be it with words, actions and aggression, etc. As humans, we enjoy a lot more latitude in the neurochemical realm than other animals.
Point is, real alphas can sense all types. Even other real alphas. The secret is within the real alpha, who, by doing his or her own thing(s) in life, be it work, pleasure, play, achieves that perfect freedom, that the majority of people chase after their entire lives.
It doesn't mean they are the wealthiest, best looking, etc. That's the wrong logic, because if you are constantly having to prove you are a real alpha, well, you can figure it out.
There are a lot of real alpha humans who like to see others succeed, as well. These are even more rare because they don't mind. They have nothing to prove. They don't need to intimidate or show off their prowess. It's natural.
Most of these are the quiet type, which is why I will end by saying, yes, there are some real alphas in this forum.
Alpha, or passive-aggressive? I have a bad baggage/laundry list for both -- and they're equally bad traits. We're all damaged goods, friends. It's not what's wrong with you, but what you do with it that matters.
Anyone who starts their comment with "okay, actually this article is wrong" is someone you would be "right" not to marry.
This Anon guy is very smart. And only 21 -- wow. Yes, the intellectuals and phDs go on and on, for and against, compartmentalizing, disproving, renaming, digressing -- ugh.
Everyone knows what humans mean when they say "alpha male." Even my 14 year old stepson got that one.
Face it, there is either something in the water now, or men are actually learning to think and act like females. It's pretty unappealing in my book.
Like I said, if you have to pick your poison, I'll take the alpha "type" over the "passive" type any day of the week.
Why do you think the divorce rate is well over 50 percent in this effeminate, emasculating society? It's because a lot of these women realized that their men have fallen below their expectations they had before they got married, and now look for the men who are more than willing to have a fling with them -- alpha males (and some opportunistic betas).
To me, alpha males are just the ones who follow their male nature: bedding as many women as they can, being as successful as they need and wish to be, fulfilling the potential of their existence, and deciding to be as social as they want. They just can't help it; they have no choice. It's not about pleasing people it's about pleasing yourself and then others. The same reason people climb mountains, ride motorcycles and jump out of perfectly good planes.
It's in their blood whether they like it or not, and I believe I can learn to be an alpha male by realizing that the junk that society has been feeding my mind with is only junk so I can be a complacent, unquestioning, submissive, robot-like person so corporations and governments don't have any problems holding their control.
Everything else are just distractions for what matters the most: building your own personality and becoming an alpha male/female.
And that's what I've recently realized -- at 21 years old.
An Alpha male does not need to do anything to stick out. He does not need to be aggressive confrontational or mean. He doesn't need to prove anything to anyone because he doesn't have to. If you are acting in a condescending manner and thinking, "I'm such an Alpha male, you're just a wannabe," quit trying, loser!
PS. Thank you anon72253.
This is the funniest post I've ever seen. I think a few of you spoke some genius here and I especially agree with anon22612.
An alpha is stereotyped in our society by some as- big mouth, big muscles, and usually predatory (only to the weaker non threatening).
Ever seen a big shot "alpha" start some crap with someone they thought wasn't? You guessed it right. I've seen crying, "please don'ts, etc.
You will rarely see an "alpha" square off with another "alpha" because who most people think are alpha aren't anything of the sort.
An "alpha" may stand up for his pack or to be the leader of the pack but doesn't hunt in the pack.
Please don't confuse low self esteem with confidence or warrior with predator. There are some idiots in here.
Thing is, the definition of 'Alpha Male' is something that has been contended with, and from my experience, there are two types.
Firstly, there are those who prefer to exert their dominance on others by being jerks to other weaker men (or boys if in school or high school). I encountered one of these when I was 16 (who treated me - a high school 'nerd' as such) and I got so sick of him that I punched him in front of his friends and surprisingly, everyone thanked me for it, including his so-called 'girlfriends' who he boasted about.
The other type are those who are chilled out, secure in themselves, relaxed, are gentlemanly and treat everyone they know with respect, but are tough enough to stand alone and pick themselves up when things go wrong.
I believe I am now one of those, very much a man's-man (and on occasion, a ladies' man). I'm 21 now, and I'm macho from time to time, but not overbearingly so, and a lot of this comes from confidence, a touch of arrogance, and self-image. And I recommend to those who want to be proper Alphas, focus on yourself, not on other people.
I hear all the time from women friends who have been told that men are afraid of them, because they are gorgeous, smart, motherly, funny, educated and interesting conversation partners. I always tell them: Alpha males don't think that way. They walk into a room, pick out the chicks who interest them and never spend a minute pondering whether or not they get to be the dominant one. This, pals, is how you ID an alpha in the group.
By the way: alphas take care of their families, which is why women prefer them. Essentially, an alpha is a secure guy, not a strutting jerk.
In my book a true alpha male shows qualities such as integrity, respect and wisdom which lead others to give him greatness. "Greatness is not given, it must be earned."
If a person has a big enough ego to expect such a status then they are probably not worthy of it. Not to be confused with the aggressive male who intimidates out of insecurity and never gains true respect from others.
What if we were to think of the true Alpha Male (the one a boy would ultimately aspire to be when he grows up) as one who, does not bully, dominate, etc., along with all other negative descriptions associated with the term, but rather, an Alpha Male is defined by he who incorporates his keen sensitivity along with the ability to be assertive, without being aggressively domineering?
The true Alpha Male is balanced and therefore, much more inclined to be successful in life. He does not constantly butt heads, nor suffers from submissiveness. He knows how to utilize both emotion and logic to carry him above the extremist personalities/deficiencies of "alphas" and "betas." The reason why "alphas" and "betas" exist is because they have been unable in, and it is often the case that their biological nature prevents them from, achieving a healthy medium.
A lot of women think they want a sensitive man type after being with an Alpha type. All I can say is "Careful what you wish for" on that one. A man who runs from confrontation at all costs, has low protective qualities, whines a lot, compares himself to his woman all the time to play tit for tat, and shows he's empowered by being stubborn and pugnacious only to those in his immediate family who won't abandon him --wow.
I've got to say, a man like that needs a women with extremely low standards. I'll take having to deal with the ego any day.
Oh I forgot. There are Alpha females, too. My dog is one. Alpha females like to be on top. If they choose Beta males they can only be disappointed. In social situations they will take second, since the Beta male will submit to all the other girls husbands.
They should look for theta females who have less need to be in the upper hierarchy socially. Beta females (as well as beta males) have medium to low standards, expectations, and maintenance needs to be happy. They should stick to each other and leave the Alphas of the opposite sex alone anyway. They can only disappoint in the long term.
I was married to an Alpha Male. Aggressive, loyal, top dog, egotistical, and yes, sometimes contentious and self righteous. But now many years later I remarried a Beta type. I would take the Alpha any day.
Beta guys are likely to be the "nice" guys to the world. But then they come home and take out their anger (which they never ever show to anyone else) on the dog, wife, sister, or anybody else who they feel secure with. They are fraidy-cats. They have little backbone. They are over estrogenized, I think. They are submissive to a fault, run away from conflict instead of standing their ground, and are stubborn as the day is long in a bland attempt to be self empowered.
Girls might think they would like a "sensitive" guy after experiencing an alpha male. Trust me, be very careful what you ask for.
Nowadays, we live in a world that is overseen by self-important professionals who make their living from developing theories to compartmentalize people, and programs to explain or control behavior.
Alpha and Beta are just two "compartments" that have been created to serve the purposes of such people. They are pseudo-constructions, as ineffable and intangible as other creations such as "mid-life crisis" and "chronic fatigue".
Personalities are as complex and infinite as the stars in the Milky Way and beyond.
As denizens of the modern epoch, we sometimes imagine that we are omniscient. Our history of research, analysis and constantly-reworked categorization of all conduct and mannerism is testament to our inability to fully comprehend the workings of the human mind.
Relationships between people interminably convoluted and assigning "labels" to certain behavioural patterns is folly. However, if it makes us feel more in control of our destinies and distracts us from the unfortunate reality that we truly are quite ignorant, then so be it.
OK.. well actually this article is wrong.
Alpha, Beta, males and females in the ape world have an almost set social position in their group. They don't move to other groups and they are monkeys.
Humans have many social groups: the family, extended family, friends, work groups, etc.
When someone moves to a different group the social position is changed. For example, I might be a introvert and a little shy, but if i was a tour group leader for the tour I would most likely be the alpha male in that group (and attractive to the women tourists). I go home for a family dinner and my respected father is in the group, i am then not the alpha male.
It changes depending on your position your current group and what you are doing. Those that are constantly Beta probably have an inferiority complex or some other disorder and those who are constantly alpha have the same, possibly worse.
Well balanced people (men) will be reasonably confident, not arrogant, and will accept their different social standing and be able to fit in and get on with most people in different social situations.
This ridiculous blog site confirms my suspicions that everyone on this relatively small planet named Earth, has a larger than healthy appetite for attention. Alpha male? Whatever! You might as well be talking about Alfalfa.
We males are more akin to this leguminous matter which is principally grown as fodder. Men are simply fodder for woman's unquenchable, relentless desire to control. So forget this crap about alpha, beta, blah blah blah. Whether you're a shrinking violet or a truculent prat, you're simply stalling the inevitable - that fateful day when you meet the girl of your dreams.
Over time, alpha or beta, your gonads will begin to shrink until, one day, they match the size of your slowly-strangled, deflated ego! I hope this settles any argument.
The key to becoming attractive toward women is doing. You have to do things as a man to gain attraction.
If you don't take care of yourself by eating, sleeping well, getting enough social activity, exercise, learning, healing yourself if you are sick physically, or otherwise, you will not be attractive to as many people. Remember, people also have to feel accepted and generally liked by people of the same sex in order to feel like woman are attracted toward them.
Ideally a man should learn how to be physically and emotionally healthy by eating right, sleeping well, exercising, dressing well, learning from past mistakes, staying away from toxic environments and people.
The learning should include what woman tend to like about men. If a man doesn't have broad shoulders, he should hit the gym. If he's nervous around women he should practice with not so attractive women even (if he's buffed up and looks his best. You can't afford to be picky at this stage) and move up but not give up if he fails.
Never ever give up. And remember the right knowledge is power. Get your priorities straight. Don't waste your time doing things that are obviously turn-offs to most women.
Never forget that practice makes perfect!
Wow. This is really interesting. I haven't really heard the term "Alpha Male" until the other day. I had a disagreement the other day with this guy that I was somewhat interested in. He's very cocky, and he thinks he can get any woman he wants, but every time I tell this guy I can't deal with him and his cocky ways he always asks why am I giving up on him!
So if he is such a stud why does he care if I stop talking to him? Or is that he has so many other women that he's into and he maybe wants to make me part of this pack?
Can someone please give me an opinion on that? And should I continue show interest in this guy or move on? I'm confused!
Humans have a incredibly structured social hierarchy, which due to fears and painful insecurities, most of the time we choose to not to see. Even when we are not looking, it's still there and has a massive effect on our self identity and how we move through life.
So alpha and beta males really do exist. if we removed society and all its protection and rules and social programing, what would develop would be the real alpha hierarchy, not the current programmed one.
I think the strong would be the intelligent and the people with the best communication skills would have the most power. A real man would not be about status symbols but about the internal self development and character. That is really what helped intelligent man survive.
I despise alpha males. Working as a bouncer in a club, I have to deal with them most nights. If there's any person who is going to screw up a night for others, it's an alpha male, and I'm the one who has to go in and clean it up.
I've seen a lot of so called "alphas" who were not alphas at all, but rather they were users or predator cowards. I loved to take care of them when I catch them pick on a smaller man or intimidate a passive woman, because I noticed they only "acted" alpha when they thought they had an upper hand (like a predator). These faux alphas are not heroes or warriors.
Who is a true alpha? The man who stands up for himself in a situation where he may lose. A predator, on the other hand, only acts alpha when he feels he has the upper hand or a winning outcome. A true alpha is a leader among his peers, confident, strong willed, has integrity, etc. Look up "being a man". Peace.
A complete man can stand out if he wants, be assertive, pursue what he wants, lead when he wants. I think that there is room enough in the world for most people to do this (including women), and the world would be a better, more fun and positive place.
Ditch this "If i win, others must lose," idea. It was proven wrong a long time ago. Look at all the advances in society, technology etc. that have helped the majority of people.
Look at the sexual liberation of women -- now we all get more sex!
Look at the fact that blacks can intermingle seamlessly and have full human rights too. We have benefited a lot more from freeing those indentured than continuing to dominate them.
I think this concept works within smaller areas as well. Many of the most successful (sexually and financially [which often come hand in hand]) men are not pushy, inconsiderate creeps. They are highly educated people coupled with assertiveness and stick-to-it-iveness who strive to achieve results not image.
I have little desire to lead people for the sake of leading. It's kind of draining and can feel like a waste of time. It's more possible to be considerate and better yourself (and have women thrown at you) than try to mercilessly dominate others, or battle for leadership consistently.
I have found compulsive stereotypical type A personalities boring, one dimensional and pathetic.
There are other avenues to social status, prestige, respect etc. than trying to change your core personality.
I myself would describe myself as a non-leader and non-dominant personality, but i believe in equality and this has allowed me some crucial experiences such as cool friendships, an FFM threesome with a committed girlfriend, kinky sex life otherwise and generally what i want without demeaning people.
You just have to find others who want the same thing and help each other.
Ditch this alpha male thought. Find out what you want (barring sadism) and pursue it alone -and people will flock to you.
I have stumbled across this site in looking for a dog and have read a lot of your comments and agree with most of them. After reading I have I have determined that I am definitely a alpha male.
I never really put too much thought into it. even though I am only 5'7" I walk into a room and naturally expect all to notice that I have just arrived! I do not try to act that way -- it comes across naturally. I am not afraid of much but also know I can get my tail kicked but I don't care.
I will instinctively be on the defensive and will attack with great vengeance, and I also will protect friends or family with the same vigor. I cannot stand bullies and will stick up for a complete stranger with the same behavior. What that makes me I don't know.
this was just my 2 cents towards the alpha male conversation. Oh and about obama, he is not an Alpha male. He is a disgrace. Either support our troops and give them what they need or take them home! which are predominantly Alpha males. I guess it takes one to know one!
Hi, I for one laughed out loud reading about the alpha males. I found it funny how most males do anything to get the attention of the women whom they consider to be attractive which actually shows a deep rooted insecurity and a fake confidence.Yikes,why do men feel the need to label themselves as alpha, beta,etc,etc as though they were some brand products waiting in the shelves to be marketed. Iam a woman and I do not care if you are an alpha,beta or gama nor will you ever find me trying to get the attention of any males. Never felt the need to dress in order to impress men by showing my body parts, even though I have a beautiful feminine body with long hair, full lips, beautiful eyes and a great voice. I love my voice which is soft, husky and honest as though coming from the very depths of my heart. Men and women have always told me that they find me very beautiful, although I never really take time and put that extra effort to look this way or that. I find myself unlike many women who'd do anything to get a man's attention.I am a true rebel, and a revolutionary individual who cares not a dime to impress anyone. Am my own person and have a mind and heart that is not put together by anybody, any systems or the alpha, sofa males. Also am an emotionally, psychologically, financially independent woman.
But since I was a a young girl all the males I've come upon have fallen head over heels in love and I never understood why because I never really dress sexily and stuff. I prefer my man to love me just the way Iam, for what Iam inside, for my intelligence and independent and affectionate person that am. i would never do anything to impress a man,yet I never understood why men kept falling in love. Yes, not in lust,but love. But the nicest part is that they all treat me with respect and care. I really appreciate that. What I find attractive about a male is his intelligence, intelligence not in terms of mere IQ but something more than that, someone who isn't afraid to look deep and inquire into himself and have what it takes to stand alone and with grace, yet comfortable with his masculinity. Men with grace are rare. Thanks for sharing your views and opinions.
Where do you people get this crap? What psychobabble magazine or talk show did you see? You're either an Alpha male or you're not. If you're not you're never going to be one. If you are everyone will know it whether it's in H.S. the workplace or on the bus. It has nothing to do with build, wealth or how many women you bed. Talk about movie fantasies.
it seems to me that there are two types of alpha males: those who are truly confident in themselves and those who are not. one can tell the difference by whether or not the alpha male's behavior comes across as out to prove something. If he is constantly trying to prove something (if you know you're something, you don't continuously have to prove it -- it comes naturally), he probably is not truly an alpha male.
I read a lot of nonsense here about this alpha and beta male theory. The only reason I'm reading through this mess is my lady called me an alpha male today. I had not even thought of such so I got online to get a "feel" for what she meant.
I am a former college football player (I actually played on the field, every game) but never thought of myself as an alpha male - just a guy who got a scholarship and was trying to get an education while doing something I enjoyed. I went on the get an MBA, MSF and CPA(nerdy stuff) but never mentally got into this alpha male/beta male stereotyping stuff.
I own my own two businesses but it is surely not to pick up women. I am confident and carry myself that way because that is who I am and not to impress anyone but my clients.
Bottom line is: I treat clients and customers special and everyone else the way I would want them to treat me. I treat my lady special but I treat all women with respect and consideration because that is how I was taught by my parents, grandparents,aunts, uncles, coaches and all others I look up to and have looked up to in my life.
So, I think it would be a positive thing if all of these people get beyond this stereotyping about alpha, beta or whatever.
Just be confident in yourself, establish goals and objectives and work toward achieving them! However, confidence in oneself comes with setting goals, objectives and working to achieve them. Along the
way, you'll win some, lose a lot of them but the key is to stay on the path of achievement of goals and objectives and just treat people right!
If there is anyone who you feel is such that you can't treat them in a way you would want to be treated - separate yourself from them and keep moving on!
Everything else is just "bunk"!
'Alpha males' from experience only get the girls that the other males don't want. the males girls *actually* want are the ones who entertain these so called alpha males and let them be the big confident dude. when you can say to him, "wow you have an amazing girlfriend there, you did well for yourself," and walk away smiling knowing she will be in your bed tomorrow as soon as he leaves for work! The strongest male position is the high paid professional job where you don't own anything but provide a service. So you don't have to give a flip about anything, reduces ties to anything. girls need a free lad who can afford to go a bit mental sometimes! enjoy.
look lads, you're all caught up about this whole alpha male/beta male carry on! but what it sounds like is you want to attract ladies! i'm a doctor who came from a poor background and have never really taken life too seriously. i think all you need to do is don't go looking for a girl; girls are good at finding you, even when you're out with the lads! also don't show your strong characteristics, instead put the effort into not hiding your weak ones. when girls find out for themselves slowly the strong characteristics they become more and more attracted. So stop judging yourselves about this alpha rubbish. relax, be confident in yourself and don't go showing off! i'm no alpha male yet i get all the ladies.
In my experience, it's not that women love alpha males. It's that what they really like is a 'strong and confident *man*' who is nice by nature but isn't afraid to exude his masculinity. Realizing this myself over the years, i have been able to continue being the nice guy that i once was, but now exude qualities of a strong alpha male. The woman i'm seeing now has often said to me that i seem to have an 'edge' about my nice character. And it's this that she loves the most. The fact that i'm a nice guy but not afraid to be dominant and strong as a man. So it's not that you have to be beta or alpha, that's besides the point. What is really the issue is the idea that men have to be subservient and nice in order for women to approve when in fact the opposite is true. Be a *man*. That's all women want :)
If you are an Alpha male, then why are you big shot macho guys? Reading the definitions from the internet, and acting like you're gods gift to male dominance - when you require self actualisation and a place to reassure yourselves that you are the Alpha. Trust me, there will always be someone else more dominant and controlling than you, you just probably haven't met them yet, and when you do, *you* will be the Beta. If you are an alpha male then you also will not need to leave hedonistic self worshipping comments about yourself to others. You will just get on with being an Alpha male. If you are the Alpha, then I am the Omega. I am the end of this discussion.
I spent the last two years with a beta male and loved it because of a bad experience with an alpha that hurt me very deeply. However, after two years being in the relationship with a beta I got bored and left him. I'm back in a relationship with an alpha with qualities the beta did not have. For example, I can feel the passion we have for each other without touching him, I received flowers for no apparent reasons, he makes love to me with apparent pleasure, he is more sexual then sensual and leaves for an entire week end without calling but makes a marvelous come back with a nice dinner in a restaurant. It makes me go crazy when he is independent, but makes me even more attracted to him and makes me feel he has his own life; interests and that I can have fun with my girlfriends a Friday night without receiving a jealous breakdown. Viva them!
I am proud of who i am today. When I was young, i got bullied, i lost my first girl to a punk, soon the next week i had another girl, but i was only 17 years old then. By the time i was 20 years old, i was a force to be reckoned with. no male, nor female, could control me, nor defeat me. i transformed into an alpha male, not by choice, but by nature. i worked out with weights, competed in bodybuilding, and football, as a way of building my confidence. from then on, i feared nothing and no one. Today at 52 years old, i am still an alpha male. people fear me, not just because i am tall, but they feel the authority that encompasses me. i only have to walk into a crowded room, a doctor's office, a mall or any place where there are a lot of males and females and i attract their attention, both male and female. That is the power of an alpha male. you do not want the attention, but you have it, when the room suddenly gets quiet when you walk in, then you know that you are an alpha male, or they think that you just look weird. i must not look weird. i have women asking me for dates, but i will choose who i want to be with, out of my own arrogance.
Want to be a so called alpha male. All you need is confidence, a great sense of humour and charm. All those cocky posers with their gym muscles and ape like posturings are just laughable.
Interesting. Now if you'll excuse me, there's a train I need to run in front of.
I am an alpha male, and to one of the above comments, yes she will stay with the nerd for life due to his status and stability but guess how many times I had sex with her and guess how many times she kissed him and left my dna on his lips. I am an alpha that will soon have his masters in business and I will be unstoppable in today's society. I have a rock solid body and god has blessed me with great looks. people who hate alphas are haters, you wish you could be one. the alpha role is not for everyone to fill -- it's as simple as that. Yes I was bullied at a very young age and lost many girls i liked to these alphas but not once did i hate them. I envied them, I understood why I was being bullied and why i was still a virgin and all the girls i went on dates with were messing around with my best friend (alpha) so I transformed myself at 18 to what I am now.
As for our friend above from the philippines I'm sorry for your health conditions although i too had asthma and conquered it. maybe you can too. If you can't get the body there are other ways of becoming an alpha. big does not mean alpha or sexy. someone mentioned above the way you carry yourself although he sounded very cocky. those are the guys i knock in the washroom where there is no camera as I ask them wtf are they so proud of. a small tiny cocky loudmouthed individual like him is not an alpha male. far from it. again not everyone can carry the role, he is making the best of it. those little creeps that use today's laws to hide behind and come to the club or mall and flaunt their attitude like they are hot get crapped on in more ways than one. maybe i'm too competitive. no, not maybe. i am very competitive. alpha males are feared and most of us are in jail because society wants to protect their little girls and guys. i couldn't knock one guy once because he said he would call the police so i messed around with his girl. and no there aren't that many alphas around. look at all the tv shows from friends, king of queens, everybody loves raymond, two and a half men. all the men are getting nagged and emasculated by their mothers (which i must say is very disgusting having your own mother do that) sisters, ex-wives, maids, mother in-laws, etc. people it's not all your or our faults. there is fluoride in our water which makes us very submissive and impotent as well, our food today has many things in it that are whipping out of testosterone. get serious get real and get to the gym and get that confidence and embrace life.
being an alpha is all in the way you carry yourself. it has nothing to do with build or looks.
i'm 5'7" 130 pounds and i'm very alpha. being an alpha is being a leader of men. in this day and age that doesn't only mean being brawny.
Jesus Christ is the alpha and omega! The beginning and the end of all creation!
I hate alpha males. Their attitudes and behaviors are socially and economically destructive. I did, however, have a lot of fun beating them up in high school, and now I enjoy telling them what to do all day at work. ;) ~Signed: The muscular nerd.
The alpha male in most cases is that fat kid or geek that gets a regular beating on the school playground, that 12 year old that gets rejected by the first girl that he asks out, that useless piece of poo whose teacher tells him he's too stupid to make it through school. that child then grows up with a lack of confidence or he says forget this, I'm as good as everyone else and turns himself into an oxford rhodes scholar with perfect abs.
OMG!! Your comments are so outrageous... By being alpha doesn't only mean being dominant.. Dominance is something that is conveyed through the way they act towards different situation and ofcourse at the way they look at things...Alpha males are positive in nature. They try to look at the brighter side of things.. Dominance doesn't mean getting things done forcibly but more over influencing the people to get the work done... And your idea about Alpha Males being sociopaths are total bull crap if you ask me... Alpha Males are not born alpha .. The things that they go through life make them alpha.. Alpha Males don't hurt people..Jerks do.. and clearly you people have totally confused yourself about these two types.. and people whining about how alpha males suck.. you are getting dominated by some alpha male and you don't have the guts to stand up for yourself. that is what is called being a "Beta." Cheers, Adi
I found this very useful information especially being an attractive female in the workplace. It doesn't matter if you are married or not, the alpha male still wants you and wins!
Well there are all kinds of alpha males. A man can have flawed genes and still be an alpha male. They'll just end up being the bums and losers after high school due to poor decisions, no drive, low intelligence, etc. I happen to be an exceptionally smart and genetically gifted alpha male, although I also have the unique perspective of having been the shy reclusive geek as a kid. From what I can tell most of the negative views of alpha males amongst others stems from specific negative experiences that person has had with lesser alpha males. One should not forget that for every drunken wife beater there's ten good men just living their lives day to day and making a positive impact on others.
To anyone who may read this article:
Forgive me for putting in such a long comment though - please bear with me. I am a 28 year old Filipino male, a local here in the Philippines.
To be honest with you, reading this article about alpha males had opened wounds for me, and has also set me asking about myself, about how I am supposed to stand in this society which seems to idolize men -- or boys -- whom they see as physically ideal to lead this pandemonium we call society.
I cannot really classify myself as an alpla male -- for physically, I am no beefcake. I have a heart disorder and am asthmatic, therefore my physical activities are very much limited (cannot go into sports or any of those male-oriented activities). Due to this I am skinny. Also, since I had not exposed myself to those things that boys would find energetic or interesting ( Due to my physical conditions) I have been bullied, scorned at and shunned away by boys then my age -- now fully grown men, who at this point, have grown ideally to become the things that you call "alpha males" -- young, good looking, strong, and successful in terms of their jobs, love life, etc.
I am no alpha male, nor am I some beta male -- for in a long span of my life, I have been a ghost -- if not a nerd -- physically weak with no experience in most sports, cars or this things that most males especially alpha males, identify themselves with.
But gleaning from experience and with all the men that I see and come across with, it seems that being the top male does not really matter. For as of now, here in my neighborhood, there are some men whom you may classify as alpha males -- physically strong and something that the girls would like to take home with, but in the long span proved to be irresponsible fathers, notorious drunkards, hardened macho criminals (who seem to flaunt their criminal records) bums, and worst of all bullies who like to push weaker people around to the point of beating them up-- weaker men like me.
Somewhat this article about "alpha males" strikes down into those many definitions and avenues of what it truly means to be a man -- a real man in this sense. But to me (and I don't know if you would agree with me) being physically strong or assertive (or being the alpha male in the hot sense of the word) does not really matter right now -- if the guy can prove to be a very responsible and caring father, a dutiful son, an honest worker, or a morally upright leader in the community -- oh yes, and someone who knows how to respect women, bearing in mind that he has a mother or a sister too.
To anyone out there, who may care to read this article and my comments, what do you think? Thank you and more power.
I don't buy any of this alpha\beta stuff. That is reserved for apes and canines. We are humans, much more complex, and we can't be classified like monkeys.
"It should be noted that “nerds” (and here we use the term fondly and affectionately), are becoming increasingly popular. As long-term mates or “boyfriends,” they stereotypically on average tend to be nicer and more respectful toward girls." I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but that is frankly not true. Women enjoy the company of "nerds" (again, term used with much respect) as a reliable constant, as a friend; don't expect casual sex or a sexual relationship from being nice. It's not a case of being nice or respectful, or at the other end of that spectrum, to be overwhelmingly dominant over other people and aggravating colleagues and people at large, rather to be respected, to have an aire of dominance achieved through casual (not tense or stressed) interaction with people and to have confidence well from inside.
My suggestions come from little/developing personal experience, but they are however founded on collaboratively agreeable information. Alphaness is merely a description of confidence and although (like anything I suppose) looks, muscularity or wealth/power don't hurt, the keystone is confidence. Unfortunately (perhaps from the perspective of women) the beauty (perhaps from the perspective of men) of Alpha traits is that they are supposed to be subtle. If woman are detecting a strong dominance, because men are hitting on women hard, then clearly sex/relationship will be out of the question as per anon23087's experience. The overpowering tactic is a deterrent and that is a key mistake of the Beta not the Alpha.
Take for example the previously mentioned example about President Obama. "Good communication skills, sensitivity towards others and downplays his strengths in order to showcase the strengths of others", these are not coincidences. Question this, if these subtle tactics were not utilized, could he have instilled a sense of leadership in the American community, leading to an overwhelming majority in his favor. This, contrary to anon18661's view is precisely the idea being the true Alpha male, because all of a sudden the "nice guy" the attentive, intelligent, understanding candidate is in control of the modern worlds largest superpower. His leadership/empowerment happened, but without anyone being acutely aware of why it was you were compelled to vote for him. Alpha.
To conclude the goal of any beta or otherwise is to feed internally a sense of self worth and confidence. Success with women and indeed with everyone will stem from a personal sense of empowerment and certainly not one that always needs to be proven be frequently throwing your power or best qualities around in a really obvious or showy way. After all, women are very subtle, emotionally invested and sensitive creatures, they will (duh) pick up on obvious advances. It's what makes them desirable and worth the care in the first place.
You can be an alpha without being a narcissist. You ask about other's feelings, then *you* make a decision.
Beta males invent the tools to screw up the planet and alpha males use them (to further their own ends).
Being indifferent and having a willingness to emote represents alpha behavior. You don't have to be good looking to exude confidence and be attractive to others.
Alpha male as described here may be a regional American thing. Some subcultures in the US and others outside find the stereotypical US alpha male dubious mating material. Nice to look at, but not so cool when his alpha persona decides after 10 years of marriage it's time to leave for a younger woman. I'd rather have beta fidelity than alpha cocksureness.
The Alpha Male term is commonly used on the hit TV series Survivor (17 seasons). It's applicable to the muscular, stronger males who may dominate physical orientated challenges. They usually don't get voted off in the beginning (need them for team challenges) but they get voted off in the middle of the show (so no-one faces them at the end). The personalities all vary: some are quiet, low key while others are very abrasive, confrontational. Regardless, these guys stick out in the crowd based on their nice physical features.
I can't stand Alpha Males, I encounter them at work, and as a Beta Female, they always try to dominate me. When I refuse to be their subservient toy they try to break me. I'm a small, shy pacificist, and yet they take pleasure in an easy kill! Is it just me, or are there more of them around than ever? Most Alpha Males I've met seem to share many traits with Narcissists.
As humans, we share similarities to other animals, and thus can reflect social behaviors, such as being an alpha male. The Alpha male, where it is present in non-human animal groups, is a being that has characteristics of "leading the pack" in their evolution. Wolves do it because physical prowess and strength, amongst other things, shows that the species will essentially continue to live and succeed. Alpha females support this idea as well. In human animals, female and male roles can both lead to this succession. Alpha roles should be defined in humans as leaders that promote communal succession(thrive, grow and prosper) that harmonize environmentally with our ecology. Managers are not leaders. Corporations are not leaders. Dominators are not leaders. I suppose this might suggest that these leaders would be a yin\yang balance of beta and alpha for humans.
The nerd in the classroom is probably your boss today. If you think your "alpha male" looks and demeanor can steal his/her spouse away (beyond sex encounters), good luck. That spouse will want to keep position in life, first. The view is different from the head table than sitting in the crowd.
Based on the definitions of alpha and beta males above, it seems that John McCain is the alpha male, who's contentious, bullying characteristics in the workplace are not helpful, whereas Barack Obama is the beta male: good communication skills, sensitivity towards others and downplays his strengths in order to showcase the strengths of others. When viewed in this way, it is easy to choose the right person to lead us forward into the 21st century.
That part about the alpha male having higher socioeconomic status (good job, etc...) is utter crap. An alpha male might be jobless and just coming out of the mental institute, he will still do a great alpha male. It's all about confidence when treating with other people.
a sociopath is one who lacks regard for others. alpha doesn't mean they don't care -- it means they dominate.
What is the difference between an Alpha Male and a Sociopath?
ladies, watch out for those alpha males! be prepared to take second seat to them...i bet they're prone to being more controlling and critical if you don't live up to their "alpha" expectations!
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