Love this forum. I was born 1973. I'm tired of hearing from my Dad and his generation the following:
1. "I had to work hard all my life. That's just life. Working is part of life." Cough - cough. Um, going to work from 9 am-5 p.m. with an hour lunch Monday through Friday is not working hard. I've never had an "easy" job like that in my 18 years of post-college working life. Your definition of "hard work" and my definition are worlds apart.
2. On the other hand, my folks get mad that I don't drive to their house to see them enough. Double standard. Dad is retired. So come see me. I'm working 60-80 hour work weeks, Monday through Sunday. Sometimes I work longer weeks/days. I "work hard". Get off your "lazy bum" and come see me with all that extra time you have in retirement that I'm working to pay for.
3. Dad: "Why didn't you stay at your last job? It was safe, secure and you had tenure?" I didn't stay at my last job because my employer was reducing my pay, requiring longer hours than I was already working, and I was required to pay into a retirement system that was not growing at all. So I took a risk and started my own business.
4. Dad: "You should have stayed at your last job with your salary (that paid so little you qualified for food stamps), paid insurance (that I was actually paying for out of my salary) and pension (that was not growing and would likely be taken away by the time I retired, and who knows what age "retirement" would be at). You're working too much and never have time to come see me!" Of course, it's all about you. I should magically make money (Oh, yeah. I remember, your generation did magically make money). I should always have the weekend off (Oh, yeah. You always had the weekend off). I shouldn't worry about retirement (you were able to retire at age 40 yo and then enjoyed a second career with a second pension form your company). blah, blah, blah. Yes, I do think you are out of touch and self-centered. You lack empathy. And you are clueless about what it is like in today's world.
5. "What? You have student loans? How did that happen? I thought you had a scholarship." Yes, I had a scholarship. I started school at a time when scholarships were limited to covering only certain things. They would not cover living expenses. And my scholarship only lasted for two years and was for a set amount of money. I earned my scholarship, by the way. When tuition radically increased during this time (from $600/semester to $3600/semester and then $6600/semester), my scholarship did not cover the remaining tuition due. Or my books. Or my food. Or shelter.
I realize that grandma and grandpa helped you through college and paid for your education. But, you did not help me. When I turned 17 and went to college, you dropped me off at the university and let me fend for myself. When I called, saying I did not know how to pay for tuition, you told me to take out loans and that you would pay them (one of many lies to come -- you have never helped me financially). I did not understand loans, or that it would haunt me to this day. When I called and asked for help to buy food, you said you couldn't help with my expenses because you were divorcing Mom. I was on my own. So I figured it out. I learned for the first time what it was like to go hungry. I actually did walk miles in the snow during college to buy my food. At night. At age 18. By myself, as a female. I "figured" it out. You did not help me. You have also never gone hungry. Please do not tell me you've had it hard.
6. My grandparents understand what I'm going through and understand why I'm making the decisions I have made and am making. My Dad does not (my mom is deceased). My grandparents understand working six or seven days a week. Baby Boomer Dad does not. I have no patience for boomer Dad (or any boomer) lecturing me on "working hard".
7. My grandparents understand why I don't have a TV and don't pay for cable and why I drive a used car that I've owned for 13 years, shop at Goodwill, wait to replace the carpet, use the dinner plates that grandma gave me, etc. My boomer Dad thinks I'm living that "alternative" lifestyle and that I'm a "liberal". Um, actually boomer Dad, I'm just living within my means. I'm not making a political statement (what a boomer thing to think). I'm doing what's necessary to survive. Remember, I know what it's like to go hungry. I work hard every day to prevent that. I also know you have never had this experience. I believe you've had it easy. When you divorced, your parents helped pay for the divorce, helped you buy food, and later bought you your first house after the divorce. They just gave it to you. When I lost my husband to a horrible disease, neither you nor mom helped me at all. I sold our house, rented a place in scary neighborhood on my own (you told me I needed to do what I needed to do!), paid my own legal fees, and later bought my first house on my own. I had zero help from my parents or anyone else. Grandma and grandpa came to visit me and see my first house. It took you almost a year to come see it. I'm a good kid. I keep in touch, and have never done anything to cause a rift between us. The fact is, you are lazy. That's why it took you so long to visit.
8. My grandparents think it's smart that I'm growing my own food. It lowers my food bill and is another way to control expenses. My boomer Dad thinks it's "hip" -- I'm part of the "eat local -- eat slow" movement. O.K Let's get something straight. I don't label everything I do as a political statement. I'm simply doing what is needed to survive.
9. My grandparents believe that it is the Christian thing to do to accept people of all walks of life. Gays, immigrants, other races, etc. It's what Jesus would do. My boomer Dad either hates them for being a parasite on society or thinks it makes him cool for supporting their movement. After all, he's "worked hard all his life" to earn his way. Everyone else ought to also (completely ignoring circumstance -- another sign of laziness).
And regarding gay people. Boomer Dad (or Mom, we're equal opportunity here), I suspect has had some leanings, but they may or may not admit this. And if around certain people, will easily slip back into hating the gays. But never around me. Truth is, genX and genY have firmly accepted people for who they are. I feel we are waiting for boomers to go away. I secretly started having gay friends in college and kept their secret for them. It did not matter to me. Still doesn't and never will. Same with race, immigrants, and others. We are all human beings. More alike than unalike.
10. I just want the job done correctly. I do not care who gets it done. Who gets credit. I will share my ideas to help. On the other hand, when it comes to boomers, screw you! I've learned that you will steal my ideas and sell them as your own, and not for the greater good. There's a difference between sharing for a common goal, and stealing something. I'm tired of boomers feeling threatened because I'm working hard and solving problems and it's making them look bad. Start walking your talk or buzz off. Sadly, you're doing neither. And because of that, you've become a pimple on society.
11. Retirement: Boomers have had more opportunity than any generation to retire by age 50. Instead, they took out credit to buy crap, go on vacations (that I've never been on or can dream of going on), buy new cars every 24-36 months and replace items as often as I blink. All the while, they're whittling their funds away carelessly. Why? Because "they've earned it" and "they `deserve' it". Wow. How's that for an entitlement mentality?
Instead of retiring, boomers continue to work and block genX and genY out of progressing both financially and professionally. I chose to leave the corporate world and run my own business. But I watch my peers. I also watch boomer friends and family sit at their executive positions and complain about not being able to retire while they book their next trip to their vacation spot in Palm Springs. After all, they've earned it. How about this, boomers? Sell your stupid Palm Springs vacation home, invest that money and retire! Make some difficult decisions. You can also start growing your own food. Oh wait – tough to grow the caviar you're eating. Wouldn't want to miss that for retirement. I say, "stop whining, boomers!" If you need a place to stay after you sell your vacation home and downgrade your 4500 square foot home on five-plus acres in the suburbs. I'll offer you my couch. I chose not to buy a huge home with a guest room, so there's none to offer you. I bought within my means. I have self-discipline.
GenY and GenX do not have this type of entitlement mentality. I work with genYers. I have hope with genY, and I'm optimistic about genY. GenX and genY need to come together and help each other out. We are friends with a common goal of fixing this mess. GenY is watching their debt. GenY is trying to buy homes or rent places with their friends because they cannot afford to do so on their own. Boomers as a generation have not been dealt this card.
12. Boomers are bullies. When boomers say genXers whine and genY needs immediate gratification, plus the other labels that get thrown our way, that is bullying. Whether it happens at work or in the media. What's it called? Oh yeah – projection. Boomers whine that they can't retire because they have over-extended themselves financially (without helping their kids -- even though many boomers received help from their parents. Talk about spoiled!). My boomer parents received much help from their parents. I have never received a penny. Ever. I get told to "buck up", "work hard", "life's tough". I've never expected a penny. I do however, see the irony and discrepancy. And I have no sympathy for boomers. GenY and GenX need to vote boomer "entitlements" out of the system. They have had plenty of opportunity. I will help people who help me. I'm not seeing any sort of team effort here. Just a bunch of bullying by a group of wimps.
It feels good to let this out. And there's a ton more, but for another time. I also do not dwell on this, as I'm sure many on here also do not dwell on this. Onward and upward. It does help to acknowledge the situation for what it is. We have a group of spoiled brats in charge. They are a group that has never grown up and a group that has put unreasonable expectations on their children that they have never achieved themselves, and then criticizes us for missing the benchmark. It's a group that keeps moving the benchmark. It's the group that told genX they could achieve anything they put their minds to and this simply is not reality. It's the group who told us to go out their and "seize the day", yet is over-critical of every move we make.
Boomers are insulted when we fail to do what they say. Alert: Children follow orders. Adults do not. Many of us have had to be adults since a very young age. Starting to "parent" us now is too little too late. And we think you are foolish. Boomers are foolish. Funny. I see boomers as foolish, uneducated, lazy, spoiled, entitled brats. All things they are calling genX and genY. Go figure. My grandparents also think this of my parents' generation. And I receive letters of support from my grandparents and they tell me how proud they are of me for doing what I'm doing and working so hard.
One last thought. My parents expect(ed) to inherit my grandparents' wealth. I expect to inherit nothing. Zero. Zilch. While it is clear my grandparents will be passing on funds, it is my parent(s) goal to spend it all before they die. There is no loyalty to their children. It's all about them.