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What Are Some Tips for Dealing with Hyperactive Kids?

Tricia Christensen
Updated Mar 06, 2024
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Parents are often quite frustrated when dealing with hyperactive kids. Even kids who have been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, and who are medicated may still pose challenges to any caregiver or to teachers. The following tips may help you better respond to hyperactive kids.

1)Set clear rules, consequences and boundaries for hyperactive kids and for the whole family. If necessary, write out the rules and keep them in a place that is visible the family. Don’t be flexible, because hyperactive kids really need rules they clearly understand. Be sure when introducing rules that you speak directly to your child, using eye contact, and asking the child to repeat back to you what you have told them. This doesn’t mean you can’t offer choices to hyperactive kids, but certain things like hitting, spitting or defiance should result in predictable consequences.

2)Establishing regular routines can help any child, especially hyperactive kids. Children of all types tend to have difficulty transitioning when routines are not clear and consistent. If a child knows that bedtime is at 8:00 pm, then he or she will naturally fall into the pattern of going to bed at 8:00. If bedtime is “anytime,” or if one allows a child with an 8:00 bedtime to go to bed at 9:00, or 8:30, then the child suffers from lack of routine, and will act up accordingly.

Routine activities cannot be stressed enough, but some parents find this means they have little opportunity to be spontaneous. Spontaneity may not serve hyperactive kids very well, but scheduling free time each day can. For very hyperactive kids, these blocks of time should probably be no longer thirty minutes, if you are not planning to actively supervise the child.

3)Use free time to take a trip to the park, read a special book together, take a walk, or simply giggle and be silly with your child or children. These free time moments can be especially helpful in bonding with hyperactive kids. With the exception of following normal household rules, the child is not required to do anything but be with you in a natural and free way.

4) Hyperactive kids are filled to the brim with energy, making focus very difficult. Parents of hyperactive kids often feel that one way to help with this extra energy is to give children lots of opportunities for exercise.

Some parents give their kids running time or install a basketball hoop to let the children burn off extra steam. Others break off a fit by suggesting a round of jumping jacks. While you shouldn’t let a child run to the point of exhaustion, exercise is a very beneficial way to help refocus energies. It is also helpful in improving mood function.

5) Because of the somewhat kinetic energy of the hyperactive child, punishment should not be from restriction of exercise. This is likely to exacerbate a child’s problem. Earning privileges and using positive rather than negative reinforcement is likely to be more effective in the long-term, though it may take some time to establish this.

6) As Dr. Phil McGraw is fond of saying, the best discipline is catching your child doing something good. Children respond to praise, and are more likely to seek your attention by doing something good, if they are reinforced when they behave well. Hyperactive kids frequently receive attention from their parents in negative ways, whether the parent yells, spanks or punishes. Changing to positive reinforcement techniques can retrain a child to desire your positive strokes rather than your negative responses.

7) Most experts recommend that you avoid overstimulation. Keep television watching to a minimum, and don’t allow TV watching at night. Loud or superfluous sounds, or the semi-trance state of TV, can really hype up hyperactive kids. Choose one or two programs a day, and keep it at that. Hyperactive kids benefit by doing, not sitting. So offer lots of hands on activities, in preference to watching hours of TV.

8) It’s important to recognize that hyperactive kids don't always have the control other children possess. Don’t fault a child for what he or she can’t control. Some teachers are fond of saying that if a child can behave appropriately once, they can always do so. This is not the case with hyperactive kids.

Many factors can influence their ability to exhibit self-control. Be sensitive to external factors that can make self-control more difficult, like tension between parents, the death of a beloved pet, a poor sleep the night before or a bad day at school. Illness in children often leads to regression, so watch the health of hyperactive kids as well.

Parenting hyperactive children can be a demanding journey, but it is also a rewarding one filled with opportunities for growth and understanding. The tips we've discussed in this article can provide valuable guidance to parents facing the challenges associated with hyperactivity. However, it's important to remember that an accurate ADHD diagnosis is the first step in tailoring the most effective strategies and interventions for your child.

PublicPeople is dedicated to providing accurate and trustworthy information. We carefully select reputable sources and employ a rigorous fact-checking process to maintain the highest standards. To learn more about our commitment to accuracy, read our editorial process.
Tricia Christensen
By Tricia Christensen , Writer
With a Literature degree from Sonoma State University and years of experience as a PublicPeople contributor, Tricia Christensen is based in Northern California and brings a wealth of knowledge and passion to her writing. Her wide-ranging interests include reading, writing, medicine, art, film, history, politics, ethics, and religion, all of which she incorporates into her informative articles. Tricia is currently working on her first novel.

Discussion Comments

By anon978428 — On Nov 18, 2014

@ anon122824 Post 25, I don't normally believe this kind of stuff, but I almost believe you, because I have had people tell me there's something about my son that makes them think he's a special person. My husband and I feel the same way about him (and his twin), but especially about him. Even though he drives us nuts sometimes, we feel like he will grow up to do something special. I know that sounds weird, but I really feel that way.

By anon965750 — On Aug 14, 2014

I'm 18 years old and I live in Pakistan. I wake up at 4 a.m. and would keep on moving all day and not sleep until 2 a.m. I eat too slow. I can't finish my food in under an hour, even if I want to. I annoy my mom a lot. She gets stressed out a lot because of me. I can't control myself, even when I want to. I try to, but I fail. No one actually understands me, so I did my own study about myself and found out that I have ADD or ADHD.

I keep on making mistakes and I am the most scolded one in the house. Everyone's fed up with me. No one believes that there's something wrong with me. I recently noticed that my right side is faster than my left side. Whenever I cry, my right eye has tears and they start to fall down on my cheek while my left eye has just gotten wet. Apart from this, there are many other things!

I understand myself and am able to treat myself right. Being a hyperactive kid, my tips for controlling these kinds of children are: to set straight rules. Remind them again and again of the dos and don'ts. Say everything directly and clearly so they won't make any excuses that they didn't understand the point or didn't hear you right.

Don't be harsh or strict with your children because it only makes them hate you or ignore you more. (Trust me – I do this a lot. I don't listen to my parents because they always scold me). Be friendly but don't lose your track.

Hyperactive kids are always looking for chances to slip and do something, and they end up causing trouble for themselves and others!

Don't try to restrict them from what they like doing, just limit it. I'm talking about playing, going out, playing with pets, etc. If you do, they will try to get what you have taken away from them. If you restrict them from everything, they will do it more and more and this can have bad results.

I annoy my teachers, my college staff and my dad, even though I'm a pre-medical student. I create a lot of trouble for everyone.

Plan a busy schedule for your children so they don't get a chance to roam here and there. This will help them concentrate better. Set a time limit for every task so they will complete the task before time and not waste their energy on other stupid activities.

If you don't help your children now, they will face a lot of problems in achieving their goals, and they would be helpless. It's important to tell the child what kind of disorder he/she has. This will help them understand themselves better and help themselves. I hope something I've written here helps you! -- Fanta

By anon962835 — On Jul 26, 2014

My kid is very naughty. He is three years old. Right now, he is has not been diagnosed with ADHD and is very calm at home but in the outside world he become hyperactive. I admitted him to DPS sec45 Gurgaon, but instead of understanding his problem, the teachers were very rude to a three year old small boy. Even the school counselor, who is also working in fortis, had a very bad attitude toward my child. Now I am not able to find suitable a school for my child. Can anybody help me.

By anon955222 — On Jun 05, 2014

I have a child who is really hyperactive, not to mention hyper-observant. This has resulted in him becoming a source of complaint by his school teachers, which only made his behavior worse.

I did some research to try to find things that might help him with his behavior and school work. Many of the articles I read suggested hiring a tutoring service, so that’s what I did. Fortunately, I was able to find a reputable tutoring company. My child has since improved his impulse control and is much better in the classroom, much thanks to his tutor.

By anon935163 — On Feb 24, 2014

Points that help:

Hyperactive Kids or ADHDs are responsive. Please don’t hit them or they can’t help but give you back the same. Help them by listening to them and talking to them gently and lovingly as they like to talk.

Give them activities that last no more than half an hour and then try to change, but don’t force them.

Sometimes they get angry. After all, they are also struggling to focus. Be positive to them as much as you can. Let them have their way also.

Don’t let them watch aggressive cartoons. Meditate with them for 10 minutes a day alone.

Reward them when they do well. They are intelligent also, so they learn things faster and then get bored. Find them friends with whom they can play. --Parent of a 7 year old showing improvement.

By anon348952 — On Sep 22, 2013

I have a 5 year old son, and he doesn't study seriously, his teachers are very annoyed with him. They say my son is the only child who doesn't sit at one place and listen to the teacher. He takes too much time while eating. It takes two hours for him to finish up his lunch. I have scolded him many times and slapped him, but it doesn't do any good. I need some good ways in which I can improve my child and make him study properly with full concentration, make him listen to elders and make him sit in his place during school lectures.

By anon347276 — On Sep 05, 2013

I wanted to post something from a different point of view: the child. I was once the super hyper-active child who exhausted my mother. I was walking at nine months and apparently would leave the house whenever possible, climbing stairs and going into strangers' homes where my frightened mother (who had two other young kids) would finally find me after searching all over the neighborhood.

I constantly threw and flushed items down the toilet, clogging pipes, stuffed paper into the radiator, smoking up the house, and aggravated my older relatives and later, teachers when I could not stop moving, fidgeting and driving them crazy with my unwanted behavior. From my viewpoint, I just could not stop, even when I'd try to. It's like your brain is so unfocused, you can't think. I was always extremely nervous if I couldn't move somehow, because I think it alleviated some of the stress I was feeling from all the overwhelming stimuli. I hated the cramped quarters of the classroom, having to sit in one place -- my desk – and be quiet (even though I already was a quiet child, but not being able to make any sound was oppressive), and be forced to try to not move so much. I just remember I always felt anxious and unable to concentrate on anything the teacher was saying.

My saving grace was my enormously patient mother. She never yelled at me (which would probably compound my anxiety). Instead, she set some rules for our household that were continued up through high school: Up at 7 a.m., snack and then homework right after school (no free time until after homework/chores were done), dinner at 6 p.m., dishes done right afterwards and before TV was watched, bath and bed by 9 p.m. Getting enough sleep and eating healthily is enormously important. And we never ate candy (unless it was Halloween or special events, and then it was doled out to us carefully), never had sugary drinks and ate very little junk food. (I remember my mom was so busy, we ate a lot of frozen/canned vegetables, rice, potatoes and hamburgers with ketchup -- nothing fancy or time-consuming.)

But my absolute saving grace for dealing with ADDHD was playing sports. I was not naturally athletic, but I played basketball and tennis (some softball -- I'm female, by the way), starting at 11 years old throughout high school. It gave me an outlet for my constant need for movement, yet trained me to focus because you have to keep your eye on the ball(!) to play. This really taught me that to be able to do anything else well, I had to train my mind to concentrate on whatever the goal was in any situation (listening to the teacher, following the instructions, etc.).

As an adult now, I try to keep to set routines to stay focused, although I still get overwhelmed by things that happen suddenly and have a hard time finishing small projects. I will never be a neat, polished person (no discipline for that). But I graduated college with honors, have done extremely well, career-wise, and yes, I still keep active, by running every day.

I just wanted to relate my experience of being the "hyperactive" kid.

By anon338200 — On Jun 12, 2013

I have a girl who is almost 5 years old. I am a single mom and she is extremely hyper all day. She makes me feel totally exhausted at the end of the day. She struggles not to go to sleep at night and she wants things her way or she starts to yell and throw tantrums, which embarrasses me. She obeys me when I am strict with her and I totally ignore her when she yells because I do not let her do or get what she wants, but then she struggles. It is the same when I don't let her watch TV at night and want to put her to bed by 8 p.m., or when I am trying to talk to a friend, when she doesn't want to sit down to eat, pick up her toys, change her clothes or when I try to give her a bath at night. But at the end of the day, she realizes that I am her mother and that I am the person who sets the rules, so she has not much choice but to give up her nasty behavior.

She is much worse with my ex husband, who allows her to do anything she wants. He believes he is doing well by letting her be the boss of his life. I am really concerned about it, but he just doesn't listen to me. He loves her a lot, but he is causing her more harm than good. When my girl comes home I also have to deal with her after she has been totally spoiled rotten by her father. He drives me nuts. How can I make him understand that he is not doing our hyper and already difficult girl any good with his lazy parenting behavior? Help!

By anon333564 — On May 06, 2013

There are many good suggestions here. I agree that sometimes lots of physical activity does not necessarily make them calmer because the reasons behind the hyperactivity can vary.

Finding what they really really want may take a lot of work to get them to be able to communicate what will make them work hard to focus and to be able to get the reward. I kind of like the idea about the Crystal children too. They have so much energy and potential in those little bodies. Someday they will be grown ups. All we can do is the best we can.

By anon280393 — On Jul 17, 2012

My son is always moving! He seems to do OK in school and can behave, but when he is anywhere else, he has to be constantly doing something. The bad part is that he thinks he must be entertained -- taken to play ball, taken fishing, taken to play tennis, playing Wii, watching only what he likes on TV if he sits for a minute. He is 12.

I think he is able to control it when he wants to, such as when he is in school. But he keeps his dad hopping constantly needing to be entertained. I suggested having some chores for him to do if he is bored and possibly he would learn to entertain himself. He owns every type of activity there could be.

My husband will change everyone's plans to accommodate my son if he is "bored". He may want to go ride the four-wheelers at his grampa house- gramps, gram, and everyone else who may have had plans has to reschedule to accommodate my son. I think it is completely ridiculous but my husband keeps doing it.

I am about to divorce him just to break free from the control of my son. My husband allows him to dictate other things also, like whether he likes meals, when he will visit friends, what time he goes to bed, etc.

By anon261275 — On Apr 15, 2012

Spanking. It works. Kids are given too much power these days. We assume they have the level of comprehension of adults, and that explaining the situation they automatically understand why there were "timed out" or punished. But the reality is, they don't. They have short attention spans, and can't see what we see because they are still young and innocent.

Spanking yields direct cause and effect and the pain is enough of a shock to their system that they understand if they don't want it, they don't do it. Much more effective than time out.

By anon261222 — On Apr 14, 2012

He's the best thing that's ever happened in my life. You think what you want to about me. I've been through worse days.

By anon254645 — On Mar 13, 2012

Ignore hitting, screaming, and other non-preferred behaviors.

Make it more fun to be compliant. For example, cleaning up toys means going outside.

Jumping/climbing behavior results in 10 second motion-suppression time outs, reinforced by the most amazing thing your child wants.

Hyperactivity will reinforce itself. Find things that are stronger than being hyperactive.

Trying to let them "get it out" is futile. Production is key. Find ways to allow your hyperactive child to produce something meaningful. Again, getting it out is useless.

By anon249860 — On Feb 23, 2012

Standard schools are discriminatory towards active children

An education method that doesn't force your kids to stay still to learn can be found in a Montessori school. Find one near you, or at least talk to them.

By anon232896 — On Dec 03, 2011

I am teaching grade one. Right now I have only one child who is hyperactive. He is a lovely, lovely child but always moving, fidgeting and slow to do anything written. I have him do jumping jacks as a break from writing, then go back to his task. I joke that we will get a stationary bike, just the pedals and wheels, and place it under his desk so he can pedal away, putting on the miles while we work. I would do it if I lived where I could find one! A stress ball for the non-dominant hand is a must.

But the only thing that will help any of these kids for life is sahaja yoga (meditation). For him, it is perfect. At our school all of the kids meditate and their attention is improving steadily, as is their capacity to love, forgive, and live as compassionate human beings. Try it - there are courses everywhere, and they are always free.

By anon217301 — On Sep 24, 2011

@anon216951 and the others in the same position. As I stated in my earlier posts, I know what you're going through. My son is now seven, and I have managed to control his hyperactive ADHD somewhat for several years. However, I too am struggling at this moment as it appears to be back to square one. I think it was summer break that put us back. Routines are key for hyperactive children. Once they are out of a routine, it takes time and patience to get them back.

My suggestion, first and foremost, is to be patient. I have dealt with the school calling me daily because my son wasn't listening or was disrupting, etc. My son happens to be gifted and even if he doesn't appear to be listening, he is. I know that. However, it was a struggle his first year in kindergarten. The teacher did not wish to, or know how to deal with him. I changed schools the very next year and found a wonderful teacher who had the patience of Job and we had no problems.

Here's what works with us. In school, the teacher has two plastic cups: a clear one and a red one. In the red one are five Popsicle sticks. If my son starts to misbehave or disrupt the group rather than interrupting the whole class, the teacher moves a stick to the clear cup. This seems to work for my son, as he is visual he knows that is the naughty cup. If he loses all of the sticks, he has to write a page of whatever I choose when he gets home. For instance, the other night he had to write, “I will focus and listen at school.” He writes a whole page, one sentence on each line. I have been doing the writing for punishment since he was able to write, and it works. His incentive to behave is that he doesn't have to write and he doesn't lose his computer and Wii privileges.

On occasion, I will offer incentives, such as this weekend. We had made a deal if he lost no sticks all week, he could rent a video game. It's something he loves so he did perfect in school and lost no sticks all week. It's amazing the way it works. Have your teacher try this at school and sit down and explain how this works to your child. If the child does not behave, add additional pages for them to write, such as “I will not disrupt my class” or “I will not hit my friends at school.” Trust me – when they have to sit and write three pages, they learn. The trick is being patient and sticking to it. They will cry and whine and promise not to do it again. But stick to the consequences and make them sit at the table with no playing privileges until it's done.

The other thing I have mentioned before is putting a sticker or something on the wall. We have one of those glow in the dark stars. Put it in the hallway where they pass all the time. This serves as a reminder. When the child misbehaves, this serves as the time out. I make my son stand with his nose on the star until he can focus and come and talk to me about why he went to the star and how he's not going to go there again. If he does not stand still and focus on the star, I make him put his hands up and take a step back. The purpose of the star or sticker is so they have something to focus on.

That's the thing with hyperactive kids – they lose their focus. It's like their brains are going 100 mph. Remind them to slow down. When they are talking to you, make them stand still. It's these little things that will begin to help them focus. I hope this helps.

By anon216951 — On Sep 23, 2011

I have a five year old who is really hyper active and can't sit still. I'm always getting called from school, letting me know she hit someone or she was not following directions. I have written rules on the wall for her and I go over them each morning. I take away privileges and give her time out when she misbehaves, and I award her good conduct but I'm still getting bad notes from school. What else can I do?

By anon196212 — On Jul 13, 2011

My son is six years old and is super active. Although he is very intelligent and has tremendous energy, and wants to do one or the other activity all the time, the problem is he is becoming stubborn and sometimes misbehaves also. Above all he is very naughty and likes fighting a lot. I am getting complaints all the time. Besides his intelligence, I am really worried about what to do.

By anon180778 — On May 27, 2011

my son is five years old and goes to school. He is very intelligent and always shows curiosity about learning something new. His teacher says he is hyperactive and does not concentrate all the time, especially while writing he is very slow, but very good in his oral work. what should i do to help him?

By anon171566 — On Apr 30, 2011

I have a six year old son and a three year old daughter. But my son his hyperactive. He does not listen to me or to my husband. Every time we talk to him, he just ignores us. Then i get angry with him. I hate doing it but that's the only way to make him talk to us.

He always does something then his sister copies him, especially when we take them outside. He runs everywhere and does something not good. What do we do to make him listen to us? I want to be his friend but i don't know where to start. Please help me.

By anon169796 — On Apr 22, 2011

i have a five year old son. he is very hyper and doesn't sit still. he is so active from the time he wakes until he sleeps. I'm avoiding going out with him because i don't want embarrassment.

Even in school, if he doesn't want to write they can't force him. He distracts the attention of his classmates and the class. he also doesn't care about eating anything he sees in our house. he is not paying attention, mostly. i can talk to him sometimes, but afterwards he is doing the same thing again. I'm a frustrated mother.

i took him to a psychiatrist but the doctor referred me to a child psychiatrist for evaluation. i don't know now what to do. he is always the center of anger in our house.

he is hitting also my mother and his playmates. sometimes I lose my patience and so does my mom who is taking care of him when I work.

we are not rich. that's why i can't give him everything he needs. I'm so depressed. sometimes I'm beating him just to stop. one more thing is that he keeps on laughing especially at words from any conversations in our house. It seems like he found something humorous in those words, but for us it's not good.

maybe it is part of his being hyperactive. is there any cure for this? I'm a single mother. Please help.

By anon169718 — On Apr 22, 2011

i have a four year old boy. he loves to scream, jump and disobey. he hates to eat, sleep or do homework. it was embarrassing for me to take him to church or shopping. he will just scream when everyone was silent. i was depressed,frustrated and very very disappointed in him.

I thought i should do something to make him sit for more than one hour. Then i decided to make him write alphabets, numbers or do some drawing work just to make him sit in one place for an hour daily and when he completes it i used to congratulate him and tell him that he is so brilliant. I also used to give him some small gifts. This helped him a lot and now I'm seeing some improvements in his behavior and speech. he is sitting in one place and concentrating more and more. I think people who are reading this can also consider my approach I really want to say to you all that I'm happy now.

Also I want to mention here that the approach is little painstaking as it took me six months to see some results.

By anon169156 — On Apr 20, 2011

My child is four years old. he is super active. he doesn't know how to sit in one place. he is hopping like a rabbit, jumps and runs. he always hits himself. He gets injuries minor and major both. he is hitting me and his father and he misbehaves in public places but apart from all these problems, he is a genius. He is very intelligent. He knows everything. He is very sweet but i am really in trouble. sometimes i get frustrated and want to pull my hair out please, please, help me. i am a desperate mother.

By anon162478 — On Mar 23, 2011

I feel for all of you. I have been through most all you are talking about. Fortunately my son has become a little calmer in school. He is in third grade and he is still overly active. The teacher and many others want him to take meds. He is not diagnosed with anything. He simply has a lack of control over sitting still for long periods of time, he is highly intelligent and gets bored easily. he actually has a long attention span if it is something that challenges him, but most teachers cannot spend that much time with our son. So he gets immediately marked as a distracting student, has behavior problems, doesn't care about academics, is "hyper" and out of control. We have had good teachers who set strict rules and have the patience to stick with it. As parents, we should try to do the same, but let's face it, we get worn down on a daily, hourly, minute by minute basis and when we are maxed out, our patience is gone just like the teachers'.

One thing I have noticed with my son is that the more physical activity he has, the better he does in school. He is challenged by the sport or music or art, and he comes home tired and has to do homework, which means by bedtime, which for us is around 9 p.m., if we can do that. He is more calm in school, but still lacks control over sitting still. He likes to draw, so he has something to do with his hands, but his teacher says that distracts other children. So hence he moves around a lot in class, jumps up in thought and really distracts the class. So I think with this particular teacher he cannot win and we just have to deal with the effects on our son.

Keep this in mind: the traits your child has a child are not looked highly upon as a child. Over crowded classes, judgmental parents and public and you being tired of trying to control your overactive child are not valued. but as an adult they are considered the doers, the aggressive go-getters, the persistent, the risk takers, and we honor these traits. So it is an uphill battle as you people and hopefully your direction will help them be productive adults. In the meantime, I hope we can all survive. Cheers.

By anon160735 — On Mar 16, 2011

wow is it good to know there are many more dealing with with I am. I have been researching everything I can about ODD and hyperactive kids, etc., and have been noting some new techniques.

I am not a fan of drugs if they aren't needed so I am going to try these and I will let you know what works. One thing I have been doing and it works well is a behavior/chore chart! My son actually focuses on that and is very excited after and you can put what you need on it! Try it -- you will be surprised!

By anon160731 — On Mar 16, 2011

I have a 5 year boy who doesn't like going to bed. I've tried everything: warm bath, warm milk, night light to see if that would work. nothing will. please help. what can i do to get him asleep at night?

By anon147951 — On Jan 31, 2011

My son is four years old. He is hyperactive and clever. He knows he is doing wrong and yet he beats me in front of people and shouts at me. i feel angry and disappointed because i don't know how to deal with him.

By anon142755 — On Jan 13, 2011

I have a three year old. He's smart but he's hyper. He listens for three minutes then he goes back to do the same thing. If I punish him, he tells me, mom be nice. He is sweet. But, he can't stay still. What can I do?

By anon141396 — On Jan 10, 2011

My boy is nine years old. He is very intelligent. He finds school work boring. He times himself to see if he can beat yesterday's time.

At the same time, he is hyperactive and can't sit still for five minutes. He challenges everybody with everything - whether it is rock wall climbing or chess - anything. He never loses, and when he does, he does not handle that very well though, but within five minutes it is all forgotten.

The other problem is bed wetting. Any ideas?

By anon140521 — On Jan 07, 2011

my son is three years old. he is very, very hyper, doesn't sleep, very angry and so unpredictable. please help.

By Xsmom — On Nov 16, 2010

Hello mom! First and foremost don't lose your patience. Patience is key.

First, if he is three and not speaking properly I would suggest getting his hearing checked. My son didn't speak until about two years old because he did have problems with his ears and we got the tubes put in the kid took off. Now he doesn't stop talking! His vocabulary is better than most adults.

The shouting and not staying in one place in preschool is fairly normal for kids and if he is a hyperactive kid it's expected. The first thing I suggest is to ensure you are speaking to him not at him. When he does something wrong or if you are trying to have a conversation, make him stand in front of you and ask him to stand with his hands at his side and look at you. Wiggling around, eyes going all over, hands moving all over the place means he's not paying attention. Just be patient -- he will get it.

Ask him to stand still and look at you and talk to him. If he starts wiggling, stop and ask him to focus. It takes some time but he will get it.

For nursery school, I think he may be somewhat like my son, who wants attention. My son wants people to hear him so he shouts and interrupts. Something to have the school try: Get a plastic cup, put 10-20 (however many you want) Popsicle sticks in them, then also get an empty cup. They need to sit down with him and explain these are the naughty sticks and when you are disrupting the group you will see me move a stick from the good cup to the naughty cup. This helps the teacher not to have to stop in the middle of teaching and also acts as a visual for the kid. He can *see* she's moving the sticks and make it fun. If you don't lose more than two sticks today, we can color together or you can pick what we have for dinner -- whatever you want to reward with. But I have found this to work with my son and he is six now and it's still working in his first grade class.

Make sure he stays in a routine each day, too. This will help. Give him little chores to do, like picking up his toys, helping you with laundry -- whatever. This way, he has things to focus on. And with time comes the daily routine. He will remember he has these things to do and it will help him focus.

On a final note, I can tell you the more exercise you get him to do, the less hyper he will be. Go to the park every day, get a little trampoline let him jump until he's tired -- anything to wear him out.

By anon127109 — On Nov 15, 2010

i have a three year old son who is hyperactive. he can't stay in one place for five minutes. He doesn't listen when you want to talk to him, and he can't talk properly yet.

he's in nursery class and the teacher says he is shouting in class and can't stay in one place. But he loves scanning the pages of the books. He is potty trained and he sleeps well. he is very sweet. He kisses and hugs me. he is just super active and doesn't pay attention.

Please help me on what to do with my child. I'm losing patience and become frustrated sometimes. Please. Thanks.

By anon122824 — On Oct 29, 2010

Anybody reading this, did you ever think how a tiny baby grows into a super active child? Did you ever ask yourself how is this possible? He/she never was never educated or shown to be like that. What you never knew was your kids are the latest generation of super consciousnesses who are here for a special mission. They are here not to make your lives harder, but to educate you in many things you never knew and you chose to keep an closed eye on.

They are here to lift your energies. They are here to help you become a better consciousness. They are here to cleanse you from your heavy maniuplations, pollution of negativities-radiation-chemicals and so on.

The thing is your duty is not so easy as it looks, of course. You have to bear with their energy, their adaptation to this world. Their energy is so large their bodies can't handle it.

For a while you will not know why or what is happening. Think of what i just said to you, people. Crystal children are here. Just search. Listen to your inner self. You will get your answers! Be with light.

By anon117188 — On Oct 09, 2010

I have a four year old son and he is super hyper. The teacher says he is very bright. he won't stay still in class. he also likes to hit other kids when he doesn't get his way. I know my son can do better. he also can't speak clearly so i know he has a communication problem.

By Xsmom — On Sep 01, 2010

@anon105729 with the 10 month old daughter. When my son was around her age he would slam his head on the wall and pull his hair when he was mad. It happens. It's hard when they are that little.

All kids are not scared of strangers that young until they learn we don't go with or talk to strangers without mom. You cannot calm her; she has to learn this is how it works. When I say we are done, then we are done -- period. Just stay strong and don't give it too much attention.

If you fuss and get angry when she throws a fit, she will keep doing it. Pick her up when you're leaving. If she throws a fit, just tell her it is time to go and we can come back tomorrow or whenever but if you continue behaving this way I won't being you back. Then say nothing else. Put her in her car seat and go about your business.

The woman with the two year old is the same when she throws a tantrum. If she starts to hit you, tell her she is never allowed to hit mom and if it happens again she will go to time out.

For the two year old I would find a corner if she does it again and put her in there for two minutes and tell her why. If she comes out, walk her back and continue doing this until she stays. If you have not done time out before or are very lax on discipline the first and second times may be a chore, but trust me: she will get it!

By Xsmom — On Sep 01, 2010

I have a six year old son who is hyperactive and has been probably since he met the world! I'm a single mom so I can definitely relate to frustration and the kid just exhausting you!

My son is super intelligent. He picks up things after hearing or seeing it one time. He was reading full books and doing third grade math by age five, which is another problem in itself.

Last year was Kindergarten and it was horrible. The teacher had no patience with my son and daily I would get huge notes about him talking on the carpet, not sitting still, etc. I met with the teacher almost weekly with suggestions for her but she just wanted nothing to do with him.

Every day I would pick him up from daycare and we would go to the park for an hour or longer, then come home and I would make up homework. After that we would eat dinner and go outside to jump on the trampoline. This was every day.

If we didn't get to the park or out to the trampoline, his energy level was out of this world. The kid would literally be trying to climb the walls instead of sleeping!

My son is now in first grade and in a new school where his teacher is amazing. She realizes there are things my son can control and things he cannot. He can't control moving around and he loses focus after short periods of time.

She gave him one of these exercise type balls to sit on during carpet time which seems to help. This way he can wiggle and bounce a bit if he needs to, but without disrupting the class.

Every day I remind him to focus and listen. Now what I find works is not only saying it to him, but coming up with some sign language, if you will, so he not only sees it, but hears it. So I point to my forehead and tell him focus and then point to my ears and tell him listen.

When he is in trouble and we need to talk I make him stand in front of me while I'm down at his level with his hands to the side and we wait for him to stop wiggling. When I first tried this, the kid was looking all over, wiggling everything and just not hearing. So it's important to make them focus and be patient.

Tell them to look at you and to stop wiggling and wait. It takes a while, but they get it.

The other thing we use is time out. I have put a large star on the wall in the hallway. When he needs correction because I have warned him and it continues, he has to go stand with his nose on the star until he can come up with the reason and solution to the problem. This works really well. The star not only acts as a visual reminder every time he walks by, but it gives him something to focus on when he has to put his nose on it.

If he is wiggling and not standing at the star. he needs to take a step back and continue with his nose on the star. Although I've only had one time this didn't work, but the third step would be standing at the star with his nose on the star and his hands up in the air.

The key I have found is routine, keeping him busy, follow-through and praise. Find a routine that works for you. Keep them busy. Be it taking them to the park to run or finding work to do such as coloring, writing letters, even cleaning their room.

Also, I have fallen into the warning trap. I warn and warn and nothing happens. Don't do this! Give them one warning. "Please stop jumping on my couch. It's not a jungle gym, and if it continues you will be placed on the star." If he keeps doing it, I walk him calmly to the star and tell him he must stand here because he didn't stop when I asked and to think about how the next time we could handle this better.

It's hard sometimes to remain patient but that's key. I think hyperactive kids get in so much trouble and seem to be in trouble more time than they are being praised. Find things to tell them you are proud of.

When they come off the star, you talk and tell them you love them and you are very proud of them but we have to follow the rules.

Anyway, I've blabbed long enough, but I'm in the same situation: always looking for new ways to make things work. I'm happy to help or give my advice based on my experience!

By anon105729 — On Aug 22, 2010

my daughter is 10 months old but still cannot sit on one place. she is very active, sleeps very little, never follows instructions given to her, always liked to stick with other people who are strange to her.

If we stop her doing any activity she wants to do, she yells and starts crying and sometimes hurts herself by pulling her hair or ear. i do not know how to calm her at that point of time. How do i stop her going to strangers? please help me.

By anon103812 — On Aug 14, 2010

my daughter is two years and five months. She is so active and just don't know how to stay still. It's more obvious when she go out where she tends to explore things and doesn't care about eating or safety.

She will run, jump and have a tantrum when can't get whatever that she wants. It makes me a stressed and overprotective mum and I'm not happy about this. Appreciate advice. Thanks.

By anon100248 — On Jul 29, 2010

my son is five years old, and he cannot sit in one place, can't concentrate, and has a bad memory. The doctor has advised medication. Is it safe? Please help.

By anon93715 — On Jul 05, 2010

i have a 13 year old daughter she is the only child. she is ill-mannered, hyper and can't remember her studies. please help.

By anon90195 — On Jun 14, 2010

My son is 23 months and is hyperactive and to top it all, he sleeps very little. My wife and I work full time and at times we just sleep for six or seven hours and so does he.

As soon as the mum is up, this guy is awake. We keep him in daycare. He doesn't want to go to sleep in daycare, either. The carers call us and inform us that all other kids are asleep but your son is awake and unsettled.

We have tried hard to form a routine for him, but in vain. He wants to either play or read books. Yesterday night he woke up at 3 a.m. and asked me to read books for him. O God, please help!

By anon85175 — On May 19, 2010

i have a six year old daughter, she is on medication for epilepsy and she is hyperactive and has a learning difficulty.

She doesn't listen to me at all. she doesn't sit still in the classroom and shopping is a nightmare. But she can sit on the sofa for two or three hours watching tv. She starts copying what the cartoon characters are doing. Please help.

By anon83455 — On May 11, 2010

I have a son who is three years old and still is the only child. he is sharp and intelligent but he is hyperactive, always and troubles me really hard in doing household chores. he is helpful and quite smart at remembering things but only those which he wants to.

By anon81318 — On May 01, 2010

My son is five and my daughter nine. both don't listen to me at all and i am very embarrassed to take them out. my son is very hyper and no amount of cajoling, beating or advising seems to help. please advise me.

By anon79937 — On Apr 25, 2010

my kid is 17 months old and he always wants to play. he can't., he is always running or jumping. is he hyperactive?

By anon71591 — On Mar 19, 2010

I have a 30 months kid who is so busy, he doesn't sit down, he jumps up on the furniture and when he hurts himself he doesn't even cry.

He likes playing but he is rough, throwing toys away if he is bored. He is very impatient when he wants something.

He started attending crèche when he was four months and he was beating other kids without any reason. His teacher says now he is much better but at home he plays with us by beating us.

He doesn't like sleeping at all, we have to beat him before he can sleep. He is very clever. he learns very fast and don't forget. He even surprises us with the new words every day. Can he be hyperactive?

By anon71079 — On Mar 17, 2010

I am a single mother with a four year old son. he is always playing and does not listen to me when i tell him what to do. he can listen for a few minutes and go back to being crazy again. please help.

By anon70018 — On Mar 11, 2010

My wife is crazy. Please help me! hehehe. I was a hyperactive kid, now I'm a hyperactive father with a hyperactive kid. married a sedentary wife, hoping it would help. It only made it worse. She is sitting on the couch while I am chasing the kid.

By anon61048 — On Jan 18, 2010

i have three year old boy, who's always been so active from four months. thought he would be better when he turned three, but he is worse. he jumps over things and even when he falls, he doesn't cry. he is so loud and he likes to run around. i'm tired and i don't know what to do now. please help.

By anon50121 — On Oct 26, 2009

my son is four and just started kindergarten. His teacher says he's very good with the schooling itself and he just loves to learn, but she consistently calls me to come get him at home time or clean up time. i feel she's centering him out and avoiding helping him figure out the structure of clean up time and lining up at the door. i know he can be difficult, but as a professional, with 13 years of teaching kindergarten, i would think that she could come up with a way to ease him into it because he's a hyper child. please help! i need advice.

By anon45321 — On Sep 15, 2009

I have a five year old and he is very active in class, according to his teacher. She says he catches on to this quickly and she just has to say it one time, but he just can't sit still.

By anon44716 — On Sep 10, 2009

i am single mother and my son 6 years old and his listening skill is what i am worried about. when i try to help him with his homewok he becomes disobedient and he is struggling with writing his name. Please help.

By anon41622 — On Aug 16, 2009

my child, a seven-year-old boy, is in second standard. My problem is that he is not listening to his teachers and is even troubling to his colleagues. he cannot sit in one place in the clasroom. now all the teachers are calling me to complain about him. I am totally upset. please help me.

By anon41082 — On Aug 12, 2009

my four-year-old runs away, calls me names and and has trouble sleeping, wakes up in the middle of the night and leaves, takes my keys and tries to start my car.

By anon37647 — On Jul 21, 2009

my daughter is 6 years old and in std 1. she is a hyperactive kid, is irritable, does not pay attention in class. her teacher is always cribbing. it makes me worried. she is extremely attached to her father and disobeys me.

By anon36872 — On Jul 15, 2009

i have 3 years and 9 months old doughter. she was listening when she was smaller, but she is getting bad day by day. she is playing loudly, she is running and jumping all the time. she used to clean up after playing, but she is not doing it good any more. when i am taking one of her toys away as punishment she is hitting me and her father. please tell me what to do.

By anon25318 — On Jan 27, 2009

my kids are crazy help me!!

Tricia Christensen

Tricia Christensen


With a Literature degree from Sonoma State University and years of experience as a PublicPeople contributor, Tricia...
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